Something amazing, and worrisome happened to me recently.
I am your straight A student, I maybe have a B here and there but that is pretty rare. So whenever I think I did very good at any subjects at school I show my parents. They are.. complicated to understand. They have this image that everyone knows about, but behind closed doors they are.. quite not the same.
But besides that, as I usually do, I read to my mother this email I rent my got, it explained how I will be giving a speech at my graduation, along with some other students. It also mentions how this was determined by GPA scores. And I was really happy.. I was even proud of myself, which doesn’t occur often.
My sibling was also there with me and was quite shocked, I took that as a shock of how amazing that was, lol.
So after I finished reading it, I was expecting a “Great job!” Or even an “I’m proud of you” in which I yearn to hear from my parents. But no, I didn’t receive any of that.
Instead I received a scolding.
A scolding about what you may ask?
Well it was about a dress she really wanted me to wear. It was super sparkly, and pink, which was something I didn’t particularly like. But oh she loved it.
But after a few days, we found a new dress. And this dress was pretty, simple, black and white, which were the colors that the graduation were based on.
I told her that I didn’t like it as it was too glamorous, and that I wanted something simple. She also mentioned how since I will be giving the speech I should wear something nice.
Something nice to her.
My voice was cracking at this point. But then I said it, I said what I had wanting to say for so long. “You always want it your way!” She stared at me, a bit in shock. But then shooed me away. Telling me, “Do whatever you want.”
Even now I can hear the snarky remarks about me. But.. is it even my fault? I don’t want that dress and that’s it. We can look for another dress but.. why make such a big deal out of it? I really don’t know what to do anymore. I love her. I love the both of them. But they make me want to out and leave. Can I at least get an “I’m proud of you?” Even if you don’t mean it, I just.. want to be something you can be proud of..
Even a hug. Just one hug, please.
I just.. need someone to tell me they are proud of me.. and hug me.. please.. just someone.