she likes him. but i love him.

Time Spent- 33m
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hi, i don’t rlly know where to start. idk what people normally write here, but i just need to let this out. they boy that i love, have loved for 3 years now, doesn’t want me, never did, and it hurts, hurts to know he will never want me. i have to live with it and i know that, trust me i do. but i just can’t move on. the worse part, i think, is that my best friend likes him. even tho she knows how much i love him. i know it’s not her fault because she can’t control her feelings. but it still hurts a lot.

i had to present to her that i didn’t care, that i was there for her, that she should go for it if he wants her. for her to be happy. ofc i said that, she’s my best friend, i want her to be happy, even if it means i am heart broken.

but there’s one thing that she does that i think she does it on hurt me. to make me jealous.

she talks to the boy i love more than i did *i was shy to talk to him, and so was he, we talked but apparently not like “they” talk*, she tells me how they talk ALLLLL the time. how he holds her hand at lunch. how he jokes with her all the time. how he looks at her. how he tells her everything. ans how he does everything i wanted him to do with me, with her. i don’t really know why she does that. i hurts like hell. but u can’t tell anyone, because everyone will say “meh he doesn’t want u, get over it” or “cmon ******, he rejected u so many times, stop trying, and stop getting hurt by it”. part of me knows they i right. and part of me wishes they weren’t.

anytine i try to tell her how he did want something with me like 2 years ago *i didn’t know back then btw, i found that out recently, he told me *, she just goes “ what do u mean he like literally hated u, he never wanted anything with u”.

i love her, she’s amazing to me, she’s the only thing that actually makes me happy on this earth. but the situation with him. that hurts me.

ans i know it’s not worth fighting with my best friend over i boy that is probably nit ever going to stay in our lives for that ling. because i am forever, and he’s every time she talks to me abt him, i pretend i am happy for her, because i don’t want to fight. i just want all of this to be over and for me to be happy.

anyways, sorry that was long. have a great night 🙂