I think that I've build my wall so high, and I starting to think that nobody can even break this wall. What I'm also scared is also if I myself cannot break them myself. I know it sound impossible, there will always be a way for me to break my own wall. But, I guess, growing up until today, I tried my very hard to protect my self, my feeling that I ended up creating a wall so high that I myself cannot break, I got so used to rely on myself (internet only make things worst as I can escape from things and learn something without relying on others) and now I find it hard to let people in. I do have some close friend and my family, but, I realize whenever i'm saddened by 'somethings', I never really asked anyone for help. I do feel like seeking help, but, I find it so hard for me to even open up to anyone. For 18 years i have try to do most thing by my own logic, now when I think Im tired and feel overwhelmed and need help, I don't know how to ask for it. And at some point, that scares me.
Re: Should I be scared?
Its totally fine u know. Most of us think in such manner but slowly we need to learn that no one is perfect and so are we. It's o to ask for help and regarding the wall. Well sometimes it OK to have a wall around as it helps us to protect ourselves but don't make it so high that even u can't break it. Try to ask for help slowly. Take small steps and it will help u to take bigger steps in future. Vent out everything which u r feeling infront of someone whom u trust. It will help. At last I would like to say it's gonna be OK and I am sure u will be able to do it. We all will :)