I feel like no ones cared for me for the past two years. I felt so lonely to the point where I wanted to shut everything out of my life and live alone isolated. Should a third-teen year old even be feeling this way? My father is forcing me to be religious even though I don’t want to be. He just keeps appearing into my life at the wrong moments. All of my friends are gone now so I have no one to talk to. My mother has a new boyfriend and stopped feeding me so she could go out with him. Only my aunt that lives an hour away from me is feeding me. The only person I felt like that cared for me is dead now. My only friend is gone now that I had to shut them out of my life due to my family, my emotions, and from the fear of me accidentally getting them involved with all my problems. My life is a complete mess. It feels like it shattered into my hands and now I have to try to put it back together again alone. My father would tell me that I should act more like a woman, do the dishes, and to always obey men. When ever I cry I would always punish myself by cutting my wrists, biting my nails, burning my skin, and digging into my arm flesh. My father would always punish me for showing to much emotions of sadness,anger, and fear. I would try to teach myself to never show much emotion by punishing myself. I had some thoughts of killing myself, but I was always anxious to see what would happen when I would die. My mother seems to be noticing how I’ve been feeling. Today she asked if I was uncomfortable with being with my father and of course I said yes and the reasons why. I feel like I could trust her I little bit more, but what kind of child would not trust their own mother? What this family now? It just feels like everyone is a complete stranger to me. I’m starting to feel as if no one can be there for me anymore. I just want to run away. Run away as far as I can without worrying about my family trying to find or track me down. Without worrying about money or food. I want to run away with someone I love. I want to run from all this pain with someone who would understand. I just want to run.