I am sick of it all, I am angry. I am mad. I want to break something, I want to shout, I want to scream, I want to harm something. It's too much, too much. Maybe I am overreacting, I haven't had the chance to let it out in months. Every day a new issue appears, every day a new expectation is set upon me. Every day I must do something. Not one day to rest, not one day to enjoy myself. No one to listen to me. I can't cry even if my chest hurts and feels heavy. It is too much, too much to handle. I want to break everything around me. Hit back, but I am far too weak for I am now surrounded and pinned down. All this bullshit going around the world. Pandemics, study expectations, school, grades, family issues. Too much for me. I agree some people go through much harder times than me, but that will not change the fact that the way I grew up has made me into a hard assed maximalist and perfectionist that breaks and loses all grip on reality the moment I fail even ONCE. I used to talk to a professional but because of the lockdown I can't even do that anymore. Problems come one after one and I don't know what to do. Should I just let go and put more value on my friends, my family and my own mental health or should I keep stressing so much about grades and my failures at school. I am highly conflicted, I am confused, I feel despair. I might be overreacting but the feelings I feel are very real. I do not know what I want at this point. Was being a straight A student worth it after all? All the time I've lost, all the friends I could have had... all the stress I could have spared myself. It hurts me.