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So fucking done

I'm so fucking done with myself. Im worthless, useless, and lazy. I don't hate highschool, I hate myself. I'm too lazy to get my work turned in on time and I usually do it wrong. I'm so fucking lazy and hate myself for it. I probably won't get into college, and if I do sure as hell wont pass it. I'll probably be a Walmart janitor the rest of my life. I want to just fucking end my life now so I can quit being a disappointment to my family and everyone on earth. I don't want to keep doing school and failing at it, not cause im dumb, but because im a lazy piece of shit.

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Re: So fucking done

Ok update: I currently am not employed yet because where I live most companies don't hire employees till they're 18. I'm saying based on what's likely to happen, a janitor or cashier will likely be my career forever. And it's more im worried about disappointing everyone else. My friends will likely be pilots, senior engineers, business owners, CEOs, etc. and I'll be mopping up puke and scrubbing toilets for minimum wage.

Hi, this is OP. I forgot to mention I can't kill myself because I don't have the ball sack to do it. I really don't know what else to do. I have such a good fucking life and I'm wasting it. God I fucking hate myself so fucking much. I really fucking hate this shitty miserable existence. I've tried working harder but I just can't.


OP here, another update (sorry)

I'm so appreciative of the comments but I just want to clear up some things (by the way I'm in a better mood now)

  1. I am not currently employed and haven't been yet, while I'm legally old enough to get a job most places won't hire people my age (I'm 15, which I think I should mention, as well as the fact I'm in California.)
  2. I am saying I will likely be a janitor, or some other job. I know it doesn't matter what job I really get, but it's more of disappointing my family and friends.
  3. I am currently in highschool, and I've survived so far, however I don't know how much longer I can do it.
  4. I have no colleges in mind, and I seriously doubt theyll even let me in being unathletic and likely not graduating with straight As and Bs.

Thanks again. I just wanted to clarify everything! I still doubt I'll do good in education and I still feel like death would be a better option.

Sorry. I’m passing out so I can’t focus.

What’s wrong with being a janitor?

when I see you guys I greet you. I have a bad disease. I’m appreciative of a clean place.

Your not a drug dealer or thief.

Westerners buy into an illusion. We are all supposed to have great jobs & be rich.

Clinton sent half our factories to China. We import endless immigrants. There’s more people chasing less jobs. Logically we can’t all win.

I earned my way to a great job. I couldn’t believe how many people were handed jobs. Quotas. Politicians relatives. Managers relatives. Engineers relatives. On & on. It’s hard for someone without connections to get ahead.

As for struggling in school. I once took a large class. Only I passed. If book smarts is not your thing; switch to a tech school. Welding; machining; truck driving. All pay well. Need something safer? Electronics. Nursing.

There’s always sick people who need nurses. People always need teeth cleaned by dental hygienist. Nursing homes need nurses.

Can’t afford a house. Buy a used trailer. Share an apartment.

Instead of giving up lower your expectations.

Your a janitor. I had a good job that payed crap. I found a construction company that needed odd hour help. I’d clean new & remodeled homes. Paid well. Tedious but not hard. Granted it messed up my sleep pattern. You have to keep trying.

I have 7 degrees. Used to do well. Disabled. Live off tiny $ now.


Like you; 2 of my kids can’t find a job either & are in college. This pandemic sucks.