Social Interaction for WinnersGROW YOUR NETWORK WITH QUALITY PEOPLE. APPROACH THEM FIRST AND MEET THEM.The more you inconvenience yourself to meet someone, the more power you are giving them.if they are powerful okay otherwise hell no!DO FAVORS FOR THE POWERFULL YOU WILL GAIN INFLUENCE in their network.NEVER DO FAVORS FOR LESS POWERFULL - IT IS COMPLIANCE GETTING STRATEGY.WE LIKE PEOPLE WE DO FAVOURS FOR You are putting them above you and they are losing respect and will try to threaten you badly as if they are superiors to you. FUCK THIS SCRAPS, INSULT THEM IF YOU MUST you are nobody whore to work for FREE !!!!NEVER NEED A WOMAN and DONT MAKE FRIENDS WITH WOMEN (They are weak and will slow you down and convert you for their causes, they will waste your time ultimately and you will gain nothing.FUCK THEM , SEED THEM ,INSULT THEM AND LEAVE THEM, THEY WILL RESPECT YOU MORE)NEVER ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT YOU (They will undermine you to gain power leverage)Never NEED (Let them need you. Appear Full with your life. LET THEM CONTACT YOU after the first initial contact)CONTROL THE GROUND AND TIME:MEET ALWAYS ON GROUND YOU CHOOSE AND STICK TO IT !!! (Don't let them move you around as a pushover or they convert you to their pawn. Maybe even ambush and kill you. )WHEN THEY ARE LATE CALL THEM ABOUT IT AND LET THEM KNOW YOU won't TOLERATE THEM !!!CHOOSE THE PLACE OF MEETING CLOSER TO YOU!!!IF THEY DONT SHOW START WITHOUT THEM !!!)BE ALWAYS BUSIER THAN THEMWHEN THEY ARE LATE LET THEM PAY OR CUT THEM LOOSE !!!BE THE FIRST TO WALK AWAY FROM INTERACTION, DATE e.t.c. (YOUR TIME IS SCARCER THAN THEIRS)Never WAIT (make them wait for you . or if waiting more than 5 minutes continue with what you planned to do or walk away)NEVER APOLOGIZE.(USE THANK YOU AND UNFORTUNATELY...)Speak ALWAYS with STATEMENTS.(USE SHOULD, MUST, NEED, CAN, WILL words) (Use "I" to claim (credit and appear powerful), use "we" to share (guilt, blame or misdirect and mount them in the direction you want) QUESTIONS make you appear weak approval seeking.Let them fill awkward silences you appear more powerful, Speak Less and listen well (Never overexplain yourself! JUSTIFICATION IS FALLACY, STUPIDIFY - INVALID THEIR ARGUMENTATION).Initiate and take the power in your own hands. Always approach first . Learn the art of prospecting - Target calling 100 people daily. The more people you know the more independent you are and the more Liking you leverage.Use Hypnotique words - because e.t.c.Comparison: The power of your peers.Liking: The Balance Theory. “I like you...take my money!”Authority: Cracking the code of credibility.Reciprocation: What goes around comes around...profitably!Commitment/consistency: The “Four Walls” technique.Scarcity: Get ’em while they last!Body Language of Dominance A dominant body language is usually adopted by people who want to show that they are in charge. A person who expresses non-verbal signals indicating domination may not even be consciously aware of such signals. It may all be expressed as a result of their dominant attitude. Alternatively, some people may plan their behaviour carefully so they can give the right signals at the right time; a method particularly common with politicians.In this guide, you will learn about dominant body language signals. You can use such signals to show that you are in charge or alternatively, to learn to sport them when someone uses them on you. Counteracting strategies are also provided at the end of this article so you know what to do when someone tries to dominate you next time. Looking LargerGoing back to our prehistoric roots, a common and critical way to show dominance is to appear large and powerful. In the animal kingdom, many fights are settled by a simple comparison in size, which saves the parties from engaging in a costly and potentially bloody fight.Modern humans have inherited this behavioural bias to compete with another person. They use the same body language and size signal to show that they are superior or are a big enough threat to be avoided. These size signals can be categorised into the following:Making the body look big. A larger person looks more threatening and is naturally more dominant. Those who have a height advantage can easily benefit from this bias as they are already large and can achieve the effect easily. This is partly responsible for tall people’s success in life, for on average they seem to do better than others. Hence, people tend to use a variety of body language tricks, postures and gestures to appear large. Here are a few examples:Standing uprightPlacing hands on hipsStanding or sitting with legs apart (applicable to men)Holding chin and head up and standing as erect as possible to appear tallerStanding higher than the other person. Putting yourself in a dominant position that allows you to keep your body higher than the other person gives you a natural advantage. Examples are:Standing while the other person is sittingStanding on a step or platform to get an extra height in comparison with anotherStanding straight and tall, almost on tiptoesWearing high heel shoesWearing a large hatStyling the hair in a way that makes you appear taller (more popular with women)A person who makes herself appear larger aims to appear more powerful, threatening or dominant Making Territorial ClaimsDue to our ancestral heritage and origins, we are strongly territorial. We exhibit many territorial signals which can be used to predict behaviour. Within the context of domination, consider the following powerful body language techniques:Claiming a particular area of an office room, meeting room, exhibition centre or conference room and expecting others to comply with your rules in that area.Invading the other person’s personal space to show dominance. This might even be followed by touch, such as patting the person on the back or holding an arm, indicating ownership of that person. Research shows that when a man touches a woman, it may not be necessarily due to affection; instead it could be an expression of ownership and domination.Invading a particular space that a person has claimed or owns. For example, sitting on the other persons chair, or sitting on the edge of his table are usually signals that indicate domination. These are very popular with power-hungry bosses and managers who think they somehow need to show who is in charge and aim to invade a person’s territory systematically.Touching or holding what other people own. This body language combined with a relaxed attitude usually indicates domination; if I own you, I also own what you own. Examples are picking up a person’s mobile phone, rearranging a desk or picking up their favourite pen. By doing this, the dominant person is saying that “I can take what I want and you cannot do anything about it”.Walking in the centre of a corridor or a pedestrian area and expecting others to get out of the way. The same territorial claim applies to driving especially when in traffic (“Don’t you dare coming into my lane!”).Sitting at one end of a long table which is usually associated with power or a superior role.When in a group, standing slightly more central to force everyone to pay attention to you. In this case, the dominant person’s back might be to some people, though he might make sure that they are friends, avoiding an attack from behind (at least in a traditional sense). Signals that Indicate SuperiorityA person who wants to appear dominant, especially in social contexts, may show a number of direct or indirect power signals. Some of these are carefully planned and some are improvised based on a situation. These signals are usually a combination of verbal statements and non-verbal gestures. Here are some classic techniques:Showing off dominance with wealthWearing expensive cloth, jewellery, watch, make-up and appropriate attire that makes a person appear rich, well-connected and powerful.Showing off belongings indirectly, such as driving an expensive car, using an expensive mobile phone or paying a hefty bill with a relaxed attitude.Showing off dominance by controlling othersOrdering a member of staff to fetch something for you in front of a person to show that you are in control in this place. Some examples of orders delivered to a member of staff are, “Get me my cigars”, “Bring us some coffee”, “Print the report and bring it to me”, “Call the CFO and tell him to come to the meeting as soon as he can”.The ordering and controlling can also be used in combination with wealth signals. For example, while in a meeting room with a client, the dominant person calls his secretary and says, “I need to go to London; book me an early flight for tomorrow morning. The usual first class, and don’t forget to hire a car with a driver. I cannot be bothered to drive in the horrendous early morning traffic.” Dominating TimeMuch like dominating space, a dominant person aims to control time by setting others to follow his pace. Most often dominant people use their body language to put time pressure on others. A variety of non-verbal and verbal techniques are used:Interruptions.Interrupting others by arriving late, or leaving early.Hurrying others.Forcing others to follow a faster pace.Walking with a wide stride. Larger strides strongly suggest confidence and determination to reach a goal quickly. If walking with someone else, fast walk is also used to set a particular pace and show who is in charge since the slower walker is forced to keep up.Talking fast and expecting others to keep up or to do the same.Slowing othersInterrupting the other person by asking him to be brief, implying that your time is more precious than his. This technique is also used to break the pace set by the other person and potentially changes the focus of the conversation. This is also sometimes used to counteract a dominant person’s hurried pace. Facial ExpressionsDominant people use facial expressions extensively to exercise power. Here are some body language techniques:Avoiding eye contact. By not looking at someone, you could be suggesting that they are not important to be looked at.Making a prolonged eye contact. By holding a gaze, you want to show that you mean what you say and that you will not budge. It shows that you are strong-minded, unwilling and potentially uncooperative and dominant.Making a neutral dismissive face. Particularly useful in negotiations, this is the facial expression of a person who doesn’t appear impressed. Holding this expression while the other person is enthusiastically pitching his case can be quite unnerving. This is also used in academic debates when a dominant person, such as a domain expert or a professor, wants to show that he doesn’t think much of other person’s ideas.Dominant people smile less often. In comparison with submissive people, dominant people smile less often. Of course, smiling less often will also make a person less liked. Crotch Display (for men only)This is a power stance shown by standing while the feet are a shoulder width apart and both feet are firmly on the ground. This posture is known as crotch display standing, which is a macho way of highlighting the genitals to indicate superiority. This might be emphasised by “touching” or “adjusting” the area. A similar posture is crotch display sitting which is when a man sits with his legs wide open, again indicating superiority by showing off genitals.This posture is particularly uncommon for women. If used it is usually a signal for sexual invitation though it is also sometimes used to show “that I am as strong as a man” or “we are equals”, mostly used when women are wearing trousers. A man's way of showing superiority and confidence Counteracting DominanceWhen confronted by a dominant behaviour or body language, you can use a number of non-verbal strategies to derail their dominance:Return their gaze. If someone looks you in the eye for longer than is normal, you can return the gaze by looking back. However, instead of looking at the eyes, look at the centre of the triangle connecting the eyes and the forehead. This allows you to maintain the gaze without getting affected by the other person’s piercing eyes.Touch them first. Aim to touch a potentially dominant person before he touches you or just after he touches you.Slow down. If a dominant person is rushing you, remain calm and aim to turn the table by implying that he is hurrying unnecessarily. Indicate that staying with your slower pace is more ideal. Be persistence with your preferred pace (whether it is walking or talking) and treat it only as a game so you don’t get emotional about it.Tell a joke. If a dominant person takes over conversations, use humour to take back control. You can use non-verbal funny gestures or tell a joke, get a laugh and shift the conversation to a topic of your choice. 1. Set the framemake yourself the prize, and they the commodity(money)Don’t Over-Explain or You Lose The Frame(The one who speaks more is the one conveying more interest)In every interaction there’s one party who has the stronger frame, and the stronger frame ends up absorbing the weaker frames and controlling the social interactions.And usually, the author righteously says, when you find yourself in the position to respond (ineffectively) to what the other is saying, you have the weaker frame.And when you need to explain your authority, you rarely hold the stronger frame.How to Seize The Frame (& The Money)Oren says that defiance and humor are the keys to seizing the frame.It’s key not to be confrontational because otherwise you will trigger their flight or fight response, and you don’t want that.The moment you can be defiant without being abrasive, that’s when they understand they’re dealing with a pro.Ofer recommends you approach with a “playful” mindset. Imagine it’s a game which you are enjoying.The Time Power FrameMain Principles :#1. Prevention: Meet at Your Convenience#2. Start Without ThemYou Wait for Nobody#3. Busy YourselfYou ain’t got time to waste #4. Even The Scores: Let Them WaitTit For That: Fight Fire With Fire#5. Assertively Call Them Out On It …And Don’t Rush Saying “It’s OK”#6. Let Them PayHow to Restore Power Balance#7. Cut Them LooseAre they doing it over and over?When I read this part I couldn’t help but think: this book is basically The Power Moves for entrepreneurs!Oren describes a typical situation in which a salesperson loses power with a customer:Customer: “hey, I only have 5 minutes, but come in”You: “Thank you for your time, I appreciate you finding a few minutes” And right there and then, you handed him all the power.Now he’s the guy feeding you crumbs and you’re kissing up to him, happy for receiving scraps.Here’s instead a way for getting more power in that exact situation:Customer: “hey, I only have 5 minutes, but come in”You: “Sorry I don’t work like that, we can’t reschedule unless I know we can work well together. I need to know if you’re the kind of person who can keep appointments”Customer: “yes you’re right, sorry, come in” When you break his controlling frame like that, he will respect you more and listen to you properly.Similarly, if they send in a subordinate saying that the big shot can’t make it, don’t try to pitch the subordinate. Tell him you can give Mr. Big shot 15 minutes to be there or you can call it a day.And of course, the oldest trick of them all is making you wait.Read:What to do when someone makes you waitDefending The FrameWhen investors or potential buyers are drilling you down on financials, they are reinforcing their power frame.They are the choosers.Instead Oren suggests that you quickly answer the financial parts, but then revert back to the relationship question.Because your frame must be:Are we a good fit to work together? This what you want to find outSee?With that frame, you become the chooser!So here’s how Oren suggests you present the pitch:Revenue is X, expenses are Y, the net is Z.The numbers and details you can verify later and take all the time you need.But first I want to find out if we are a good fit to work together.This is what I came here to do.Defending The Frame IIOfer recommends that if they want to change the agenda, time you’ve scheduled or the people who will attend, you should refuse and withdraw.My Note:I could partially agree with the time. Albeit I wouldn’t cancel but simply make it a bit harder for them to reschedule. I don’t personally see any issue though with changing the people who attend.If you want money because you believe in your project you shouldn’t get hang up on the details of the attendees. The Intrigue FrameWhen investors meet you, it’s because there’s something in your product or presentation that piqued their interest.You know something they don’t, and that gives you power.During the presentation, they will be asking themselves if they have seen it before and fully understand it, and the moment they realize they do, you lose a lot of power and you lose their interest.What’s the answer then? Don’t let them feel they understand it at all!3. Be The One With Highest StatusStatus closely interrelates with frames.The person with the highest status is most likely to hold the most powerful frame.Here are the key steps to keep a higher status:Ignore their power rituals (and avoid following)(be the one who leads , by telling them what "we" should do)Don’t let his global status affect you (only focus on the situational status)(Focus on the transaction of power between you)Look for small act of denials and defiance to increase your status( refuse their suggestions , destroy their arguments)Once you have enough power move to your domain of expertisePosition yourself as the prize to be won over (Never Need , Let them need you. Don't contact let them contact you. Don't go or follow them , let them come to you)Find a way to let them quality and qualify to you and confirm your higher status (be the source of approaval and the authority)4. Pitch Framework: Less Than 20 MinutesOfer says your pitch shouldn’t be longer than 20 minutes.After 20 minutes people disconnect and start forgetting what they’ve already learned.Here are the steps for an effective pitch:4.1. Pitch OverviewFirst of all, reassure them it will be brief. 20 minutes only, a few questions and then you gotta go.It puts them at ease, raises your status and increases their focus.4.2. Introduce Yourself5 minutes, a key few facts about you and the major accomplishments.4.3. The Big Idea: IntroWho is it forWhy your target customers can’t find something similarHow does your product change that (solution-based features)How your product differs from anything elseIt’s important that you show how your idea is not coming out of a lone genius mind, but it’s the natural evolution of market forces and demand.Do name competitors: it shows you are grounded in business reality.And add some time pressure: this is the moment to strike before those competitors wake up.4.4. Budget & Secret SauceEvery investors know you will be conservative about your expenses and overly optimistic in your growth predictions.Don’t dwell too much on growth, but show you’re good at budgeting: that’s a rare and prized skill.And then introduce what you do better than anyone else, that something that gives you an edge over the competition and will allow you to keep market share even when competitors jump in.And last but not least: make sure they understand one of the biggest assets on the table is you.5.5 Offer The DealTell them what they will get when they will do business with you.I particularly liked the idea of push and pull.Ofer says that when you only pull (hard sell) people will get suspicious.You should float the idea of not giving them the deal (taking it away) and then giving it back to them.For example:It might not work out between us (push). But then again, if it does, we could really do something great together.5. Use Hot CognitionsHot cognition happens when you decide you like something even before you fully understand it.And that’s what usually happens: we don’t make decisions with rational cognitive processes but with emotional ones.And then we use the data to justify those decisions.The overarching ideas are that:Emotions and feelings are keyComplex abstract concepts need to be processed by the neocortexBut people would rather avoid using the neocortexOfer revisits some of the hot cognition points that will help you get to the final decisions via the lizard brain and bypass the neocortex. Some of them:Prize Hot CognitionThis is the mindset:You have one of the best deals available, but you are choosy as who you work with.Yes, you might work with them, but you need to know more: let them tell you about themselves.Time Pressure Hot CognitionOfer explains there’s a scarcity hot button in our brain (also read Influence by Cialdini).And your pitch should make that button itch by putting some time pressure on the deal.6. Eradicate NeedinessI was surprised to see Ofer introduce Taoism here, but it does fit very well.Basically he says that neediness is a huge deal killer.The more you can reach a mindset that you want nothing from others, the easier business deals will get.Real Life ApplicationsDon’t let them solve the puzzle!When you’re pitching don’t make your product too simple too grasp too soon or they will lose attention. Keep something that will keep them on edge through the whole presentation.Pitch to the lizard brainDon’t unload all the numbers right away: structure your pitch to appeal to emotions.Don’t get skewered!Don’t let them drill you down on the details and financials or they get all the power. Remember your frame: you’re there to assess them.