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Everything is tiring and confusing me.

First, my parents make me think like "You should happy we decide to born you" while they almost do the abortion when i wasn't born yet

Second, people around me comparing me to my siblings. even though i always give my 100%. and when i understand that i won't able to catch their ability, i even stop trying. i just giving my 10% in my life. it getting worse but i couldn't care less.

Third, people think i'm incapable to do anything, when i said to them i decide to continue my study in college, people was giving me look like they said "Wait, are this person able to do it?"

Sorry for my bad grammar. I just want to write this, since i don't have anyone.