Hey, so there's something I've been wanting to tell someone for a while but i haven't found the right person to talk to. i'm not sure how many people are actually gonna read this but its worth a short. Ever since i was a kid, like starting from the age of 2 to 3 years I've been seeing this one face every time i close my eyes. I'm turning 16 and i still see that face. At first i thought it was some random guy i just made up as my imaginary friend when i was a kid but from the past few years it feels like he's more than just an imaginary friend. Yes, you can say that I've fallen in love with someone who doesn't exist but it really doesn't feel like that. I'm kinda like this psychic kid cause i get these strong feelings of something happening in the near future and it always turns out to happen and for me it feels like he actually exists and maybe he thinks of me too.
I researched about this and it says that this is a kind of self love and there are a few people who actually face the same thing that i do, which makes me not the only freak in this world i guess. Lately I've been having these signs i guess cause everything i see or learn or hear is always pointing to this direction but i'm not quite sure. I don't know what love really is about because there is absolutely no one in my real life who truly loves and cares for me [including my parents] and so i never got a chance to feel the same way about anyone else no matter how hard i try. This is the one feeling i have no idea about and that one feeling which I've been longing for ever since i was a kid. This is that one feeling that has consumed me completely and I'm not willing to give up from finding that boy who i see every night.
I would have been long dead if not for him. The only thing keeping me going everyday is that hope of finally getting to meet him, touch him,feel him,love him and spend the rest of my life with him.
In case any of you know someone who feels the same way that i do please let me know cause my life seems to fall apart right now and this craving to have only that one person's love is killing me inside. i don't want to be alone. i want to be called his and i want him.