I don’t know if I have ever felt love. Well, I certainly haven’t felt romantic love, but I don’t know if I’ve felt platonic love. Family love. And I feel like a monster because of it.
I tell everyone “I love you” all the time because I’m so scared that I actually don’t. Every time those words leave my lips, all I can think is “Do I actually love them? How do I know if I’m feeling love? What if I don’t and I’m just lying to their faces?”. I don’t think I know what platonic love feels like and I hate it.
I want to feel it.
I NEED to feel it, because otherwise...
Because otherwise, I am telling my family the cruelest lie I could ever tell them and I think that it would break both mine and their hearts for them to find out.
I just want to know what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I feel it? There has to be something wrong with me, right?
Please help me...