i met my best friend a few months ago. I was very depressed and suicidal, and I skipped lunch almost every day to lose weight. but this friend helped me get out of that without even knowing that they did. And I love them so much and they matter to me more than anyone in the world.
But recently I’ve been noticing that they really aren’t eating much. they even admitted to it. i didn’t want them to go there so we made a promise that we can’t do anything to ourselves that we don’t want the other one doing. they said they’d keep it. I really don’t believe that they are.
But then it got worse. i was telling them how much they changed my life (they know about my self harming, by the way) and i mentioned the ‘you know what’.
They said that many of the things that had happened to me applied to them too.
Including the you know what.
i keep thinking about it and it’s making me freak out all the time because I don’t want them going there!!! If they were to hurt themselves I wouldn’t be able to keep going. they’re the best thing in my life. The only reason I’m still here. They saved my life and I want to be that for them.
but what if i’m not?
what if i can’t give them enough love and care to keep them alive?
what if they kill themself and it’s all my fault?!
I really don’t know what to do. I’m so scared. bae please, if you’re on here, stay alive. i need you. please 😭