I don't mean to be mean, I just can't handle everything anymore. I want to reach out so much, I need some help because everything is too much, but I don't how and I'm scared so I just push everyone away.I do stupid shit like cutting myself or crying so anyone will notice me and try to help me, but I always chicken out in the end and cover it up. And I know it's not fair to them, but it fucking hurts that nobody notices the long sleeves, the weird dark stains on them or purpuseful looks away so they don't see my face. I wish someone would call me out for that bullshit. It just feels like they know but nobody cares.I'm sorry I'm so hard to deal with. I'm sorry I don't just say what's wrong. I'm sorry for acting like a brat so often. I know I'm a shitty person for my poor behaviour. I don't know how to change it.