Ever since I was younger I also felt this way. Whenever I hear noises of people laughing, or mocking, or just making noises in general really rub me the wrong way. Examples when I'm trying to be serious or when my mum is shouting at my step dad about something she really doesn't like and wish he wouldn't do, he will always have this mocking tone, and always laugh at it, and it happens to me too when I try to speak something serious and he always go with the childish voice and mock me. Along with this one friend of mine that I never saw sad I don't know why but sometime I hate him so much I just hate it I hate when I see him laughing or just smiling or joking all the time. Whenever I see it I feel sick, I feel like screaming out shut up shut up shut up shut the fuck up go die go die. I'm so sorry i feel this way, but you fucking disgust me and I wish you would just disappeared, everyone. When I feel sick I wanna cry as well I wanna hurt myself, I wanna just grab a knife and slid my throat or my wrist right then and there, I want to stop I really do but I cant and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry.