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Starstruck by a Professor

It was in the year of 2016 when the man I loved wanted to break up. He blamed his depression but I thought things would change. I waited and now that I look back it was lack of self love that made me wait for him for years. Later did I learn he cheated on me with another lady friend. I felt disgusted because I was still emotionally invested . Slowly after having worked on myself I was in my 3rd year of law course when I met this beautiful professor. At first I thought it would just be an infatuation or maybe I was trying to get over my ex. But I knew I liked this man. I told him so and he appreciated it. Soon afterwards he quit teaching and I graduated from college. We moved to different cities but kept in touch. He did ask me out once when we were in college but I declined his offer well, morally I thought it wasn't right. It's been two years since I have liked him and we're both afar but I haven't felt any less for him. I'm not attracted to any man beside him. We are in touch. This is funny coz I haven't gone out on any dates with him yet, we have differences in opinions and even arguments over the Phone. I tried my best to get over him but we have such a strong bond. He knows I like him and I know he feels good about me too. We are both single but probably coz of our past relationships we are afraid to define it. I don't know why am I writing this. I came in hope of reading some emotional intelligence blog. Stay blessed .