Hi I recently been in like survival mode literally living each year as it comes going toward something new, I had to be an emotional crutch for my grandparents my entire life and I want to say fuck that noise.
I really find it toxic and really damaging to do that to a child and get surprised when I don’t want anything to do with them, my mom is dead which is good because she wasn’t worth anything my entire life, such of flesh and also I don’t regret saying that.
turns out years of holding her head above the toilet only made me want to spit on her grave and say thanks for nothing useless shit. I am smart and always have been smart I could’ve been a doctor yet they dragged me down to the mud to only see my life circled around them. Fuck that.
I literally poured my youth to old people that are better off in hell.
it’s so beyond fucked to switch responsibilities on a 10 year old, no wonder I’m so fucking exhausted and tired when I felt like a mother to 3 kids emotional well being, I been sexually assaulted by my grandfather there’s so much fucked up shit that my brain has being clouded from and got dropped off the train at 18, fuck it, people wonder why choose heroin or why choose sec industry, some people are fucking empty and have so much and I’m tired tired tired tired of my husband not caring than I want I alsoways wait til tomorrow or wait next month or wait this year. No fuck it. Seriously fuck it all