TW: SUICIDE It's been a hell of a year. I'm sure everyone can say 2020-2021 is just a disaster. I got stranded away from my husband because of border closures.... And then both my parents got sick. My mother was diagnosed with early onset dementia and my father out of nowhere had a massive heart attack and stroke. Its just been a lot and I've had to deal with is all on my own basically.... And some days it's absolutely overwhelming and the only thing I want to do is...not be here anymore. But I haven't seen my husband since January of last year and the only thing keeping me here is the thought of the devastation I would cause him if I ended my life while he had noway of getting to me. But even then some days thats beginning to feel like it's not enough.