Still messed up about it?

Time Spent- 19m
12 Visitors

Sorry for the story but is it wrong that I’m still messed up about my mum hitting me when I was 15? She’s smacked me before for some reason but that never really bothers me at all. I’m 18 now but I still get upset when I think about it.

My dad was out so me and my mum were watching a movie. It just ended and she asked for the remote. I passed it without looking and hit her on the hand quite hard. I instantly apologise but she began to yell at me, how I never love her, that I hate her and didn’t apologise. I claimed I did and apologise again. After that I didn’t know what to do but just turn my head. She said to turn around but for some reason I didn’t, in response she pulled my hair and yelled at me again. I got up and went to go upstairs. She yelled at me to take the cat with me but seconds later she got up and went to the kitchen, claiming to throw the cat outside since I don’t love Meduse (the cat). She’s only ever been an indoor cat and she is my cat anyway so I panicked and ran past her to grab Her. My mum tried to grab her, hitting my back and screaming to let go. After a minute or so she stopped and when to the kitchen door. She screamed at me again and started to threaten to kill herself since no one loves her. I think her threatening to do that messed me up the most.

After all that she apologised, that she never meant a word. I can’t believe her even to this day. Most of the time my mum is a good lady but over the years she’s gotten angrier and more stressed. My dad doesn’t know. I can’t know sice I’m scared to know what he would do if he found out. He’s a good man, loving and caring. He hated people who even yell at their kids in nasty ways.

After 3 years I feel like I should of grown up. But I can’t.