I started self harming because of my sister. I remember it exactly. We fought. I locked myself in our bathroom and took the pair of blue-handled scissors. I can’t tell anyone. It’s been 5 years. I got hospitalized for it once, but after that, I just got better at hiding it. I can’t escape it. I cut at my sisters wedding. I cut at her graduation. I cut at my graduation. I cut at the hospital. I cut at my therapist’s office. I can’t talk to anyone because I don’t want to get everything taken again. It’s like no one knows how hard it is to stop. They say, why don’t you just throw them away? But they always find a way back. It’s like I black out when I’m in an episode and I wake up only when I cut. I just want to stop.