My story.for the first couple of years or my life I had everything I could ever want. contentment, love and a family who loved me. We went on holiday and I remember being happy. I was happy. had such a good life. I was around 10 when it happened for the first time, my dad threw a heavy bag on my mum very aggressively after a disagreement and I remember it hurt her neck and I was utterly in despairing never expected him to do anything like this before in my life. I remember crying and the next thing I knew they were punching and kicking each other. Much to my horror my dad then had a rope around my mums neck. Hopeless me my brother and my baby sister were unable to do anything, he apologised and promised to never do anything like that ever again. then it happened again, hot dinner thrown on her, soap in her eyes, freezing water, chair against her neck, bag over her head, a knife to her throat, threats of hurting people she loved, wasn’t allowed any friends, and then one night he punched her round the face and broke her jaw. I remember the anxiety and fear I would have waking up everyday, the frustration I had when my mum would say something he didn’t like, I was scared. Then it started on my brother, abuse. My mum is a good women, a nurse. A heart of gold and he didn’t deserve any of that. my dad got arrested and put in jail over someone not shutting there mouth, we lied our way getting out of it. I still love him. More than anything. It’s crazy right? It makes me hate myself because after all that shit he put me through i still love him. He’s out. He’s free. kicked me and my sister out late at night, hurt pets, manipulation all he does and I still would do anything for him im now laying in my bed with symptoms of a mental disorder. I need help and I’m so scared. Nothing feels real to me, I have every anxiety and I think I’m in a dream. Please help me world I’m so scared.