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Strange Thoughts

Due to COVID cases continuing to surge here in the US, quarantine has been long and for me who doesn't have much to do at home but clean, cook, draw and be on my phone..its quite the drag. Then there's the fact I'm stuck with my family, who can be kinda torturous.

I've had thoughts like these before but being stuck here just makes them more recent. I have moments where i doze off in my head picturing scenarios of murder and other things that are so disgusting and taboo towards the people of my family that just make me feel ill. I could be having a good time only for such a thought to pop up and throw my mood off and I honestly don't know what to do. I want these thoughts to stop they make me feel nasty with myself.

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Re: Strange Thoughts

Hello! I recommend you see a therapist (if possible, a behaviour oriented one) to give you a professional diagnosis, but I deal with these thoughts. They're called Intrusive Thoughts and everybody haves them but people either with anxiety o (like you) has a lot of time on their hands tend to ponder on them a bit more and makes them feel awful. Remember, thoughts are just thoughts and we have hundreds of them fleeting in our minds and only focus or agree on some of them. Only your actions define you. I don´t know you, but in my personal opinion, if you feel awful, its because you care about your family and hurting them seems to be your worst fear. Intrusive thoughts can become extremely debilitating and worse with time so I highly suggest you seek professional advice on how to handle them early on. Its just a matter of getting a better hold on your brains way of processing thoughts, like knowing how to sort out files on a computer.