I almost made a suicide attempt last night by treading near a highway, planning to get hit by a car. I ended up walking back home.
I'm young (an underage teenager) and I've done things I shouldn't have done around my age. I've had sex before (though it only ever got as far as oral) with a 16-17 year old and when I was 9 I engaged in sexual acts with my sister. I was curious and it led to me feeling the most disgusting I ever could after. I know my sister loves me and worries about me, but I feel so insanely guilty. I want to apologize but I don't think she should forgive me.
I feel hopeless. I don't think my friends want me either.