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Struggling with aniexty and self image and past issues

Lately just been feeling ugly again and fact a few people has reminded me that when going out and about taking dogs for a walk I don’t know I try to buy other clothes special things to smell good and special facial wash and shampoo to help with my damaged hair and whitening tooth paste other bits and bobs to try to feel better but I just keep feeling like I look even more worser I try to be healthier doing exercise and walking even go on a diet could not carry on with the exercise I started getting chest pain again so had to stop every time attempted it again got chest pain as I may suffer with gerd and sometimes my make worser tried different exercise no still same so carried on with the walking not had no problems but I also had to stop my diet as I was getting really bad diarrhoea and I felt ill again maybe gerd but not sure so had to stop and just do normal food diet which I am struggling with I am eating healthier but not like I should so feeling like a failure like every thing I try to do always fails and never good enough I am getting tired of trying to get no where so tiring and frustrating plus my aniexty on top just really taking it’s tall I did a test other day say my aniexty was extreme because thinking about this on top feeling of past issues again coming up and can’t shut it out driving me nuts plus I wrote something I then regretted because I didn’t say how I wanted to on top I feel I maybe have a personality disorder called avoidant personality disorder but I don’t know for sure but my past issues the worst to deal with as sometimes certain situations come up that reminds me of past I try to get my feelings out by commenting on other posts or other sites but I don’t know feels like my feelings are still not out I don’t know how to deal with it and worst I have to pretend to every one I live with I am fine I keep going in my room tho quite alot It just would be nice to get a lid on my feelings and just get hold of my aniexty and just live in the present without living in past but how

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Re: Struggling with aniexty and self image and past issues part 2

Plus I have been reading lots of articles on how to love your self again how to build self esteem and all kinds of things to help and how to build relationships and friendships but for moment does not seem possible I thought if I don’t go on certain social media places I normally go on shut them out I would feel better but no still don’t I have managed to do something that I couldn’t do I have been going into shops lately and doing some shopping even though scared I still am doing it I just wish I could do everything tho that I am afraid to do or just move on from other things and really sort myself out but my biggest challenges are work friendships and relationships I am not sure if anyone else can help me is it what I have to do do I have to find the answer how.