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stuck in a toxic relationship

im stuck in a toxic relationship and i have no idea what to do. i know this is toxic, and ive tried to explain that to my girlfriend many times before, but that just doesnt make a difference. All that happens every time i try to bring up this issue is a flurry of tears from her, culminating her abusing me and herself, and usually an attempt to self harm by her. Im scared. I cant end the relationship, because im scared that my girlfriend will genuinely do something to herself if that happens. And no matter what, no parent should be seeing their teenage daughter in bad health. i cannot do that to her and her family. we're both 17. ive been shamed for my sexuality, my beliefs, my ideas. this relationship has made me so so weak. its made me lose the desire to achieve anything. its made me lose inspiration. it doesnt leave me any time to study or work for myself, because any time i have must be devoted to her, else i'm not valuing her. I,m never allowed to say when im not comfortable with something physically, because boys are always supposed to be horny and can never say to anything, else they're probably gay or asexual. i hate this. everything. and im so stuck. i know if anything happens to her im definitely gonna be responsible for it. Even if not legally, atleast in my head ill have the guilt. Its so shit. Im sorry for ranting on so much. This is purposeless. Im so sorry to anyone who reads this. Im sorry