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Stuck in my thoughts

So this is extensive. Almost 5 years ago I met this guy and we started dating. He was honestly amazing and the best. But we just didn't work out. Well now today I am married to his twin. So my ex is my brother-in-law. But I still have heavy feelings for my ex.

Whenever we go to family events I can't be by him that long because I just want to grab him and just do things with him. And its almost like whatever we do we're always still flirting. Whether it be just making fun of each other and play hitting each other.

I can be sitting here messaging him and I'll catch myself blushing or smiling even at the smallest of text he sends. And he just makes me feel so good. And I get those butterflies from him.

I don't even know how to handle my own feelings. Because I do love my husband so much but I don't know if its because they are twins or if its just because they are both honestly super sweet.

I'm at such a loss 😔