Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs shows you what people usually really want and need in life. Just pick a need from the Hierarchy of Needs and you will likely please someone. Understand that any need that you can satisfy in exchange for getting what you want will help you appeal to people. However, for the best results in persuasion, you want to find what your subject really wants and target that. He won’t agree to do something for you if you are only offering to satisfy a need that he has already met. Find what he lacks and offer to fill that need or find a problem and show him how helping you solves that problem.Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is basically pyramid that lists peoples’ needs, ranked from most important to least important. These are inherent needs that all people share. At the very bottom of the pyramid are physiological needs, such as food and water and shelter. Second up, there is the need for safety, love, and security. Third comes the need for belonging to a group of people, such as having friends. Fourth is the need for esteem and pride from your accomplishments. Ranking fifth at the very tiptop of the pyramid is the need for achieving one’s potential and fulfilling one’s purpose in life.Find out which of these needs someone really craves and how they can get it by doing what you want. Then promise the person the reward he or she will really appreciate. To do this, pay attention to what he talks about a lot or seems to long for. A person who wants to belong to a crowd at work might eat lunch alone while gazing longingly at his co-workers who are all eating together. A person who wants praise and affirmation for his accomplishments may seem irritated.when no one acknowledges his work or may get competitive and try to take all the credit for everything that he does on a team. Finally, a person who always talks about women or men and dating is probably looking for a companion.Cialdini’s Six Principles of InfluenceThe first principle is reciprocity. This is where you do something for someone, knowing that he will reciprocate the favor in some way. Make people feel like they owe you and they will be more inclined to do what you want if you do something for them. Do little favors for people to get them in your debt. Then call on them for a favor later and if they refuse, mention, “Well, I did such-and-such for you a year ago. Think you could return the favor now please?” Usually, it will work subliminally, though. People don’t keep tallies but they will vaguely remember the feeling of being in your debt.The second principle is known as commitment and consistency. I already covered that in the part about advertising. Well, this principle is how you can persuade people, too.The third principle is social proof. This is basically where you get people to do something because it is a trend. I talked about that, too. You show people that others like whatever you are selling or proposing. This makes them want to hop on the bandwagon. Get endorsements or walk around with lots of friends to make yourself seem more popular, too. Having a friend talk you up to someone can score you a date more easily than if you just try to talk yourself up to the person.The fourth principle is authority. You want to show others that you possess authority. There are a lot of subliminal ways to gain authority, such as wearing power colors or sitting with your feet on your desk. I talk about that in the part of gaining dominance at work.The fifth principle is to get people to like you. This is called liking. With liking, you can influence people if they already like you as a person. You want to be sympathetic, friendly, and kind to others. Remember details like when their birthdays are. When people talk to you, listen and ask questions to show that you are interested, even if you are not really interested in what they have to say at all. I talk about this in the part of getting people to like you. Memorize that section! It will always work in your favor.Finally, the sixth principle is scarcity. Scarcity is where you pressure people into doing something because they think they are short on time. This is why ads will say, “Limited supply! Act fast or supplies will run out! This deal won’t last!” Pressure people and make them feel that something is running out. Then they will not even think about it. This works great in advertising too.Offer Rewards and Focus on GainUse the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs listed above to get an idea of what reward you might offer him.When persuading someone, speak only in terms of gain. You don’t want to say things like, “You will stop doing this” or “You will lose weight.” Instead, speak of how “You will gain healthier habits” or “You will gain health.” When you phrase things in terms of gain, the reward seems prettier and more desirable. Therefore, your subject will be more enthusiastic about gaining that reward. He will be more inclined to do what you want.You really want to emphasize the positive at all times. Play up your reward and talk about how much you have to offer. It is OK to promise the moon. The more you sell yourself, the more persuasive you become. The subject does not have to know whether he will really gain these results or not. He just has to think that he will and want to try his luck.You should also focus on figuring out what your subject might really want. Then offer it to motivate him. He will not be able to resist something he really, really wants. Most people really, really want friends, sex, recognition, and prestige. So you can offer these things or imply subliminally that they will come with doing you a certain favor.However, you should not exclusively focus on gain in all circumstances. Sometimes, it is OK to point out what someone stands to lose. If you can show him what he stands to lose by making a bad decision, you may be able to scare him into making a decision that you like more. You can use this in parenting to help persuade your kid to avoid a bad decision.Attitude Change ApproachYour attitude really affects how persuasive you are. You need to speak first and come across as an authoritative source. On top of that, you always need to appear extremely confident, like you know exactly what you are talking about. Having an excited and positive attitude is super important in getting other people to want to believe your opinion or follow your lead into a decision. So combine positivity, cheer, and authoritative all at once to make someone want to do what you suggest. Having this attitude makes people like you and want to help you. It also makes them feel that what you want is a good thing for them to do.Amplification HypothesisThe Amplification Hypothesis is the process of using your attitude to sway someone’s opinion on a matter. Here’s how it works: If you express total and absolute certainty about something, the other person becomes convinced that his attitude is right. He sticks to the idea with more conviction. If you express uncertainty, his conviction begins to wane. He is no longer so sure of himself anymore if you express doubt.Getting someone to do what you want can be as simple as acting enthusiastic about a decision that he makes or disappointed about it. If you want him to do something, then express a lot of enthusiasm. If you disagree with someone, just express a little doubt. You will probably be able to change his opinion, or at least soften his conviction. For instance, if he says that he is going to do something, ask him, “Are you sure that is a good idea?” Put a lot of doubt and disapproval in your tone. At first he will probably defend his decision, but he will start to feel a little tickle of doubt too. Don’t just argue with someone and tell him why you are doubtful, as he will be able to justify or reason with each of your reasons. Don’t explain your doubt, either, just let him puzzle about it and he will find lots of holes in his logic himself.Conversion TheoryDid you know that being part of a minority can actually give you more influence than being part of the majority? Being the one voice that speaks out with an unpopular opinion or attitude can give you the hugest effect on others. The minority can often sway the majority and gain favor with their opinions. Consider how Democrats represent a minority yet often have the most sway in political issues and civil rights movements.So if you want to change someone’s mind, you can maybe subliminally expose him or her to the minority opinion. You can also speak out with what you believe in, especially if you hold an unpopular opinion. You will shock others and gain more followers and assenters than you thought possible.Lead Someone’s Thoughts with Word ChoiceLeading is an excellent subliminal method that you can use to sway someone and influence his or her thinking. You want to appear amicable on the surface to hide what you are really doing. But you want to pick words that lead his thoughts in a certain direction. Pick words that are harmless, so he or she cannot call you on trying to influence him or her. But the way you use those words can make him or her change his or her conviction.Using positive phrases and light phrases tends to help someone disassociate from bad feelings. For instance, if you are trying to make someone feel less upset about being mugged, you might tell him, “Your wallet was taken,” not “Your wallet was stolen.” Replace words that carry strong connotations with words that carry less weight. As a result, you will change someone’s mood and perception.Guess what? This also works for deception. Make your actions seem less egregious by using lighter languageThe reverse is useful in persuasion as well. Instead of sugarcoating things with nicer language, create a vaguely unpleasant aura around the topic by using stronger language and more unpleasant phrases. In this case, you would want to say “stolen” rather than “taken.” Choose words that lead to negative images and feelings as possible to make him sour on the idea that he is currently running with.Don’t do this in an obvious way. Rather, be subtle about it. For instance, when someone is talking about moving and you want to talk him out of it, you can tell him that you are satisfied with his decision. He will wonder why you chose that word rather than telling him that you are “happy.” Then he will begin to wonder how you really feel about it and if there is something that you are not telling him. He will wonder if there is something you know that he doesn’t. This will start to make him feel unsettled about moving. He might just change his mind.Positive words can make someone want to do something. Negative words can make him not want to do it. Lead someone’s thoughts with your word choice.Inject an Idea into Someone’s MindThis is one of the best parts of subliminal psychology. You can literally inject an idea into someone’s mind, which of course will really influence how he feels and acts. The best part about this method is that you can appear to be innocent; no one will detect what you are doing. That form of stealth is the key to successful subliminal psychology. You can inject the idea without appearing to be doing it deliberately. Your subject will have no idea why suddenly he has a negative association and does not want to do something or why he is suddenly wanting to do something for you; he just will.When you do this, you want to inject an idea into your subject’s mind very subtly. Once he brings up a decision, act fine with it. But then expose to him a horrible idea or image. This will create a negative association. Or use the reverse and expose him to something that makes him happy when he makes a decision that you like or when you ask him to do something. He will love the idea because he associates it with being happyYou can also employ an ally in this method. Have a friend or other third party tell your subject about something horrible so that he loses interest in his decision. For example, have your friend forward him articles about how dangerous overseas travel is. He will think that your friend is the one who is trying to dissuade him and he will not blame you. This is the ultimate form of using stealth in the application of subliminal psychology!The more people that you can enlist for assistance, the stronger the message will be to your subject. If you flood his mind with bad messages from all sides, he may just listen. The bad message is all that he will be able to think about. He may think that the universe is trying to give him some sort of warning or sign not to go through with his plans. On the other hand, urge him to do things you like by making him feel happy about his plans.Use positive and negative spikesCovert AnchorsIn persuasion, it is very possible to train someone to be your little minion and do what you want. He or she will be conditioned to do what you want without even being asked or told. When you condition someone to do what you want, you eliminate the need to use any direct persuasion tactics. Instead, you get this person to do what you want whenever you expose him or her to some sort of stimulus. Over time, you can condition someone to act, think, and feel a certain way the minute he hears a noise, sees a color, or smells an aroma. Using this method is very subliminal and successful because you are using hidden, secret images, sounds, or aromas. When you condition someone to respond to a stimulus, the stimulus is called a covert anchor. It is an anchor because it brings him to the same feeling every time, leading him to form an association. It is covert because he has no idea why he has made this association and he does not realize that you are the person who is actively conditioning him.To dissuade someone from something, you want to create a negative association between a certain thought and a stimulus, so that your subject stops wanting to make whatever decision you want to talk him out of. You must find a negative stimulus to elicit a negative emotion in your subject. Pick something unpleasant or something nasty he hates. Then you must expose him or her to that stimulus whenever he brings up the topic that you are trying to dissuade him or her from or does some habit you want him to stop doing. Some common forms of negative stimulus might include the unpleasant sound of Styrofoam rubbing together, the sound of nails down a chalkboard, the odor of rotten eggs or sewer, a song that brings back bad memories for him, his or her least favorite actor, his or her high school bully, or something else nasty that he or she hates.Covert anchors take a while to really set in someone’s mind. You need to expose someone to the covert anchor at least a few times to cement the association that you desire. You cannot just play an ugly stimulus once and expect your subject to associate it with whatever you don’t want him to do. Repeated exposures require some persistence and patience on your part. You need to perform some work to ensure that the association forms. You can tell it has formed when he starts to get a bad feeling about his decision or starts to change his mind.Covert anchors also are not permanent and need to be reactivated several times. Essentially, you need to keep training active.Get Someone to Wonder Why He is Saying No to YouA huge part of persuasion is getting someone to change his or her mind and say yes to you instead of no. You want to change someone’s mind from a no to a yes. One way to bring about a mind change is to get your subject to wonder why he is refusing to following your ideology. As a result, he will start to doubt his own logic and consider following yours. You must make him start to question himself and doubt the benefits he will gain by not giving you what you want. You want to make him think, “I may be wrong and he/she may be right. Why won’t I listen?”The best way to do this is to use logos. Logos is one of Aristotle’s appeals and it means basic logic. If you are presenting someone with sound logic and don’t appear to be manipulating him for any reason, then he has no reason not to listen to you. Use logic to get him to see your side and ask him if he really thinks this is a good idea. Shake up his conviction in his choice by showing him how illogical it is to say no to you. Maybe use some subliminal suggestions to make him think about how he is being illogical.USE LOGICAL FALLACIES HERE & GENERAL PERSUASION TACTICSAlso you can use ethos, Aristotle’s third appeal. You want to appeal to his sense of ethos by coming across as an authority that he should listen to. Tell him that you have had similar life experiences and you know what he is about to go through so that he believes you. Use credible sources, such as psychologists or doctors, to get him to hear reason. You can even present this evidence to him subliminally. He will refuse to believe you if you don’t seem to be credible or to know what you are talking about. Using your own expertise and a fancy title like “Doctor” can make him respect you, or you can show him evidence from other experts that he will listen to. Just slide an article onto his desk or something to show him the authority that challenges his decision to say no to you.Make Him feel Guilty for Saying No to You(Guilt,Shame,Fear)You can also use pathos, Aristotle’s second appeal, to appeal to your subject’s emotions. Emotions are a powerful way to get someone to rethink a decision. Emotions often overrule thoughts in people. So play on his emotions subliminally to get what you want.Use a childhood picture to remind him of how close you two used to be and show him that you miss him to keep him from defying you, for instance. If you want him to say yes, then ask for what you want second. When he says no to you the first time, he will feel a bit bad about it. So suggest a compromise. He will want to say yes to you so when he hears the compromise, he will feel that he should say yes to avoid letting you down further.Here’s another trick called door in the face. If you really want something, ask someone for an exorbitant favor that he will have no choice but to say no to. After he says no, ask for what you really want. He will feel that it is more reasonable than the first request and he will want to say yes anyway. Plus, he will feel guilty for saying no to you so he will want to make it up for it by saying yes to the second request. For instance, if you want a raise, ask your boss for a ridiculous amount. He will say no but he will probably feel bad. Then suggest the amount that you really want. It will seem better and he will want to oblige you.See Compliance getting strategiesMarwell and Schmitt's Compliance-gaining Strategies & Kellerman and Cole's 64 Compliance-gaining StrategiesYes TrackYes tracking is a lot like leading and it’s a great subliminal trick. Get a person saying “yes” to make him more likely to tell you yes. If you get someone on a yes track, then he will keep saying yes until he agrees to what you want. There is some glitch in the human brain that you can exploit through yes tracking.Start by asking him questions that he is likely to say yes to. “It’s nice today, isn’t it?” “You like this car?” “Are you feeling great today?” “Are you ready for the weekend?” Once you get him saying yes again and again, finally pop your pressing question. He will most likely say yes to it. He will not even think about it, the yes will just blurt out. This is because you have subliminally tricked him into using a yes track in his mind.Approach at the Right TimeTiming is really critical. You want to approach your subject only when it is a good time. He will not be the most receptive to your messages when he is preoccupied, stressed, busy, groggy, overwhelmed, or otherwise mentally engaged. Don’t talk to him when he is with friends or out on dates. Don’t talk to him when he is on the phone or at work. If he appears to be in a bad mood, or has just had a bad experience, don’t hit him with your argument. Or he will form a negative association with it and say no to you.Rather, ask him, “When can we talk? I really need to talk to you. Please set aside some time to chat with me.” Let him pick a time and come to you. That will appeal to him. If the matter is urgent, you can put some pressure on him to set aside time soon, but don’t inundate him with demands on his time or he will get mad and shut you out.You can frame it "When would be a good time to..."When you speak to him, you want to put him in a good mood and make sure that he feels comfortable. This keeps him from getting defensive or refusing to help you; instead, it makes him like you. Make sure that he is seated in a comfy chair and the room is set at a comfortable temperature. Offer him something warm to drink, like coffee, because warm beverages can make him subconsciously associate you with warmth and thus he will like you more in that moment. You already know liking is essential to getting your way in persuasion.Start the conversation in a pleasant and friendly manner. Don’t be rude, defensive, hasty, or confrontational or you will lose the battle before you even begin it. Keep your voice even and low, or raise your pitch if you are a woman to sound more girly. Use flattery and nice words to make him feel at ease and happy. Express seriousness and urgency, but don’t be rude about it. Being casual sometimes works best on some people so feel out your subject to decide if you should pressure him with urgency or be casual and friendly instead.Information Manipulation TheoryA subliminal tactic to persuade someone is break one of the four main conversational maxims, or governing rules of conversation. By doing this, you can make someone doubt his own mind or begin to accept what you have to say because the conversation is not what he or she is used to. Breaking a conversational maxim will alarm the other person because it disrupts the expected order of things and that will make him or her lose focus and possibly become more agreeable.There are four conversational maxims that people expect automatically when talking to you:Quantity: You give all of the information expected.Quality: You tell the truth.Relation: You speak about something that is relevant to the conversation.Manner: You speak in a lucid way that the other person can understand.So if you give a short and evasive answer, avoid telling the truth, change the subject, or speak in a hard to comprehend way, you can sway the other person’s opinion. You can make him or her question what is really going on and feel uncomfortable. You can also show him that you are upset by his opinion or decision, which may make him change it. When you disrupt one of these four conversational maxims, you gain some persuasive power over your subject. And he or she will not know exactly why the conversation feels so disruptive. It will be more of a subliminal thing.USE LOGICAL FALLACIES HEREThe Art of Being ALWAYS RightPrimingPriming is where you get someone to think a certain way by telling him certain words or exposing him to stimuli. You “prime” him to think what you want by exposing him to an outside stimuli that makes him think of what you desire. This method is very subliminal and simply calls for setting ideas in front of someone to influence his thinking.For instance, if you want your friend to choose an Italian restaurant for dinner, you might expose him to Italian words, pictures of pasta, or even the scent of Italian cooking. He starts thinking “Italian” and later he picks the restaurant you want without even realizing why he has picked it.You can also prepare someone for some news this way. Start to show him images or movies or other stimulus that will get him accustomed to an idea. Then, when you spring the news, he will be more agreeable to it because he is already warmed up to the idea. You can prepare someone over a period of time to make things seem more normal and less harmful, so that they do not seem as bad when you present them.PRIMING & PRIMING PRINCIPLEUse the Sleeper EffectThe Sleep Effect is when a small persuasive message gains persuasive power and attractiveness over time as a person gains distance from the source he or she originally heard the idea from; essentially, if someone “sleeps on it.” So tell someone a small idea and make it seem like no big deal. Then give him a while to think on it. He will come back and make the decision you suggested without even realizing why because he has probably forgotten what you told him. He just knows that your idea stuck in his mind and grew bigger over time. The more appealing the message is, the more the Sleeper Effect works.For example, a used car salesman might not seem very credible at first as he tells you what kind of car to buy. But after you leave the lot, the message about the ideal car will gain significance in your mind and you may become swayed about what kind of car to buy, partly because he’s an authority and partly because his message has time to sink in. Later, you pick the car that he suggested, without realizing why.You can apply this concept by telling people an opinion and then letting the message sink in over time. Make the message appealing but small. Don’t overload someone with information and don’t be pushy or check in. Let the message do its own work in your subject’s subconscious.MemoriesMemories are very powerful because they contain an emotional core. They evoke strong emotional responses in people and cause them to make decisions based on their experiences in the past. You can use memories to elicit strong reactions in people and scare them into or out of decisions. Bringing up the past is an excellent means to an end.You can use stimulus that brings back someone’s past. Scents and olfactory stimulus are usually best for bringing back memories. Find a perfume of his ex or some other scent that brings back his most unpleasant memories and then use them when he is about to date someone you don’t like, for example. Make sure that he forms an association with that terrible memory and his current decision. Or use pictures of his old business that failed to scare him out of a bad investment decision. Use scents that remind him of happy times to get him to agree to decisions.Using memories of the past or of things you have done for him can really help you gain his favor in influence and persuasion. You want to make sure that he feels indebted to you or inclined to help you by reminding him of warm memories of the past. If you must, create false memories by talking up old times and making them seem better and more important than they really were. Your subject probably won’t argue with you.Ultimate TermsAs you already know, specific words carry more weight than others. Using really strong language can impress someone into believing what you are saying. You can make impression with words that evoke the power of God, suggesting blessings or obedience. You can also use devil terms, which imply disgust, hatred, sin, and eternal damnation. Finally, you can use charismatic terms which emphasize values like freedom, hard work, and emotional awards for doing the right thing. All of these terms appeal strongly to someone’s senses, causing that person to become more inclined to pay attention to you and take the action that you prescribe. When you use power words, you make someone listen and you have a greater chance of impressing him or her enough to persuade him or her.Action words are often more powerful than passive ones. Also, use more command terms to feel as if he or she cannot say no. Use words like “must,” “do,” “will,”,"should","need" and “required.” Imply action and obligation and people will subconsciously obey these words. These words stand out in advertising and in persuasion.Make Your Proposal DramaticThe more dramatic and climatic you make your proposal seem, the more likely someone is to idealize it and want to say yes to it. Using dramatic words, you make your ideas seem sky high and wonderful. Then people will listen and feel that your proposal is something wonderful.Making a proposal is ultimately all about presentation. A huge part of persuasion is being appealing to your subject by presenting what you want in a way that he will like. Therefore, you want to appeal to his wants, his needs, and his ideals. You can play your ideas up to seem lofty and somehow better than what he has now. Make your ideas seem like something that will better him as a person and get him closer to his ideals. Make it seem like you have the world in your hands and your proposal will solve every worldly problem. Using really big words can lend credence to your proposal and make it seem loftier. You want to pick words that seem important and dramatic. This works subliminally because the subconscious is impressed by some words more than others. Words that stand out may be words that are not used often or words that sound fancy and nice. Pick words with powerful connotations that relate to his ideals too.Let Him Think It’s His IdeaTo win any argument, you just have to employ a few of these approaches for almost guaranteed success. Drop whatever you are doing now in arguments because it does not work, even if you think it does. Instead adopt the following attitudes and you will get your way. You will surprise and charm people into thinking that you want the best, so that they want to cave in to you.Win Any ArgumentTo win any argument, you just have to employ a few of these approaches for almost guaranteed success. Drop whatever you are doing now in arguments because it does not work, even if you think it does. Instead adopt the following attitudes and you will get your way. You will surprise and charm people into thinking that you want the best, so that they want to cave in to you.Remove Your EgoWhen persuading someone, you can’t just force yourself onto him. You must approach him in a way that appeals to him. This means removing your ego from the equation and focusing on what the other person wants. Show him what benefits him. Leave yourself out of the discussion; no one will be persuaded to do something for you if you just talk about how you will benefit.The very act of persuasion is a selfish one. You want something and you want to get someone to do it for you. Your motives are not altruistic. But generally, you want to pretend as if they are. Act as if your interests are purely selfless and you want the best for someone else. Your own ego and your own needs only get in the way of persuasion. You know what you want, but hide that from the other person, because no one wants to slave away just for your benefit.Never say “You’re Wrong”Never, under any circumstances, say the words, “You are wrong.” People absolutely hate being told that they are wrong. When you tell someone that he or she is wrong, you hurt his or her ego and put him or her on the defensive. He stops seeing reason and instead becomes committed to proving you wrong and himself right for the sake of his ego. In addition, he becomes hurt and associates your opinion with the unpleasant experience of being told that he is wrong. Thus, he will never listen to you or come around to your way of reasoning.It is far better to tell someone, “I see why you think that.” Even if you don’t see why at all, just pretend that you do for the sake of the argument. Let him know that his argument is valid and that he is not necessarily wrong. But then say something like, “But did you consider this?” Point out some facts that he mayDo Not ArgueArguing is just a huge waste of time. When you argue with someone, you put him on the defensive and you say stupid things. Then nobody is listening or getting anywhere.Instead of arguing, remain calm. Keep your voice calm. Be rational and cool-headed. Smile a lot. Make it seem more like a discussion than anything.Never mention winning or losing, or you make it a competition in someone’s subconscious. Instead, talk about finding a solution.Do Not Become DefensiveThis ties in with the ego thing I already discussed. You may hate it when someone does not just blindly accept your point of view and change their minds for you. As someone begins to disagree with you, you may become both insulted and eager to prove him wrong. You go on the defensive and lose your ability to rationalize. Being defensive causes you to lose all credibility. You blow your chances at talking him out of a decision or deciding that you are right. The minute you become defensive, the argument has already been lost…by you.Focus on the SolutionWhen you talk more about the solution rather than the problem that spawned the argument, you accomplish two things. First, you make him feel that you are trying to help so he likes you more. Second, you are actually making strides to accomplish something.One way to shift his focus from problem to solution subliminally is to simply ask, “Would it be helpful if…?” or “Have you considered trying…?” Once you ask him a question, let him think of his own answer. He will think that the answer is his own idea and he will be thrilled that he just solved a problem on his own. Meanwhile, you got him to do what you wanted.You could also say “What if?” to get him to consider your ideas and suggestions. He will start brainstorming and listening to your way of thinking. Make subtle suggestions to lead his thinking.Finally, ask him, “What do you see could be a problem here?” Let him think of problems and cause him to doubt his decision. This way, he is more open to what you have to say.Express Sympathy and UnderstandingWhen convincing someone that you are right, you don't want to come across as overbearing or rude. You also don't want to seem as if you don't understand. By being sympathetic and understanding, you make your subject feel as if you do see his side. Then he is no longer on the defensive and instead feels warmer toward your ideas. Always acknowledge what he says without telling him that he is wrong or talking over him. Nod and say, “Yes, I understand.” Say things like, “I can see why you feel that way.” Repeat back what he says to prove that you are listening and paying attention and understanding him.Meanwhile, make lots of sympathy sounds and nod your head every now and then to show that you are actively listening. Ask him a few questions to show your interest. Let him do most of the talking as you do most of the listening.Show Him Why You’re RightYou won’t show a person that you’re right just by telling him that he is wrong. It is much better if you show someone that you are right by genuinely proving that there is logic in what you are saying and benefit to listening to you. Point out real-life reasons and examples of why you are right or leave subliminal messages in his sight.Cooperate and CollaborateWhen you are trying to win an argument, you want to use “we” terms to give the illusion that you are cooperating together on an endeavor and you are on the same team. This makes someone feel the need to agree with you in order to maintain the cooperation and your friendship. It is a subliminal trick that works.“We” encourages cooperation. It elevates you from some person giving orders to a partner or teammate. People like that and will try to work with you since they don’t like being alone. Avoid using lots of “I” terms because then you seem like you are only serving your own interests. Also avoid “you” terms because they sound like you are pointing the finger, which can put someone on the defensive. Just say stuff like, “I think we should do this” or “I think we would be better off taking this approach.”