TW: Suicide, death
I have always made up scenarios of how I'm going kill myself or how I'm going to die.
Getting hit by a vehicle
Falling off a vehicle
Jumping off a bridge or building
I don't look like a person who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, I don't cut myself but instead I search up for things online that can make me cry, feeling my heart clench so tight every time there's something that's hurting me, hoping that I'd actually die from heartache. Right now, I want to scream for help so bad but I also don't want to. I'm hurting but my tears stopped falling.
I'm just so tired. I want to sleep and stop breathing. Every morning, when I wake up, I keep on feeling disappointed that I'm still alive.
I want to run, to hide, to disappear without a trace.