yea um hi guys. I am a big girl and always have been self conscious of my body. This contributed to major depression. Iv wanted to kill myself from 3rd to 7th grade. I wrote several notes about how I wanted to die during that time and since I wasn’t a very good hider I know my mom found them but never addressed them. I think maybe she just wanted to trick herself into thinking they were just me being bored. but one day I told her, I told her I was depressed. She dismissed me and told me I couldn’t be because a lot of other kids have it worst than me. After that I never brung it up again and suffered in silence. After 7th grade I stopped wanting to kill myself, but I still wanted to die. I would fantasise about how my family would be there and cry and feel sorry for me. I really just wanna skip all the pain and go ahead in time to when I’m a old woman and on my death bed.