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Talking about myself for the first time

I wish if everything is different. I wish if I wasn't gay to be in the closet in the first place. you see my parents are Arabic and me coming out will kill them in the spot. I don't want to come out, either way, I just want to stop caring about people suspecting and trying to incriminate me with my existing homosexuality.

I don't engage in any sexual behavior with any soul and my phone is not called at all, I am completely alone and it is ok.

I am writing here to low a bit of steam.

PS. this is the first time I am writing or talking about my situation and this saddens me.

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Re: Talking about myself for the first time

im not gay; but I’m sorry for you. It’s dangerous to be gay in America. In Portland Oregon a gay woman was assaulted by thugs. A man tried to save her so they pulled him from his truck & beat him unconscious. It’s not even safe to help gays here.

In college I dropped off a female date. I stopped for gas. Two large men jumped a little gay man & started beating & kicking him. I risked my life & fought them. I won.

I could tell you other stories. But the Arab world is so much worse if you are female; another faith; & especially gay. It horrifies me for gays.

Please keep your sexuality secret & never act on your thoughts unless you can later immigrate to more tolerate country. America has advanced a lot in my 60 yard. I see a lot more tolerance. Same for WEuro & Canada. I know it’s hard to suppress urges your born with. I was born with two. I have a major sex drive. Like I can still have sex 5-8 times a day. But wife had stop have sex. So I’ll never have sex again.

I also have risk taker gene. I used do crazy stuff like jump motor cycles over cars. Ever notice most of crazed people doing stuff like climb Everest are white dudes? Risk taker gene. I still get the urges. Pulls on me. Climb that tree. Drive 140. Go parachuting. But I ignore the feelings.

Don’t be offended but I just prayed for you. God Bless