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Terrible Husband

My husband makes me.feel useless and just down right like crap. He yells at me and calls me names. When he gets mad he destroys things and gets into my face. He makes me feel so lost and lonely and broken. I clean and cook and watch our daughter and he does nothing but go to work and treat me horribly. He messages my friends and tells them to leave me alone and that I'm a useless whore. I don't understand all I ever did was love him and now he makes me regret loving him. He has put me in so much pain and broke my heart.

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Re: Terrible Husband

Hello! Idk if I can ease ur pain but I just want to say that You are beautiful. The fact that you are working hard for your family and looking after everything is simply just beyond amazing. Men may think that women stay at home doing nothing but these cooking and maintaining home kind of works are as hard as the kind of work he does outside. Women do all the works at home for everyone but not for themselves. Men go outside and even if the works are hard they get to socialise with people but at home it's different and they need to understand that. Please, love yourself and love ur daughter. Learn to work on yourself, make time and do things that were once ur hobbies. Don't listen to what your husband has to say, if he only wants to see black and white, u cannot show him colours.

I could tell you to leave him but would that solve your problem? I doubt it, i can infer there are other obstacles in your life that are causing you to still be drawn to him... I hope that one day, you find enough strength to leave him behind. I can't say I relate but I learned that daughters/Sons with fucked up fathers always search for the good in other men/women causing them to have someone just like there parents.......I pray that you'll one day wake up content and free......

People will treat you how you allow them too, ask yourself why you are allowing him to treat you like crap. Time to get out, abuse only gets worse over time. Many women have been killed by men who supposedly loved them. If he won't go to counseling to change his ways you need to leave. Think about what it is doing to your child too, to see him treat you like that. Get out while you can, you are strong enough, use your anger and grief to give you strength to go. Good luck

Money, evidence and at least one friend! Money is the solution to your problems. Find a job, possibly online. Even something on fiver, or better yet upwork or weworkremotely. Do you know other languages? Can you code? Edit texts? Right now, nothing will empower you more than money. Find at least some form of employment from home. Start saving money. The reason he allows himself to treat you as poorly as he does, is because he has money. And because he's a cunt.

The second thing you're gonna need is evidence. There's ways to record his abuse of you. And yes, if you had any doubt, what he's doing abuse. A video is best, but a voice recording can also be powerful. Abusive texts, anything. Record as many incidents as possible.

When you leave him, there's a chance he will try to take you to court. If you have evidence of abuse, you will win it.

I don't see the point in explaining to you why you should leave him, as it seems so obvious to me, but here goes...

He is not going to change, but you could.

I grew up in a house like that. My mom stayed with my volatile, verbally abusive father, who would through tantrums and objects at us, because she couldn't support herself, or so she convinced herself, accepting her "cross to bear". We come from an extremely poor bg, and she had a very defeatist, self-destructive mindset that was molded by years of semi-poverty. My dad has some paranoid tendencies and an explosive temperament. Being an extremely serious and sensitive child, living in that house f me up and I grew up with borderline personality disorder, which i think dissolved on it's own some 2-3 years after I left home, which I eagerly did soon after turning 18. I'm lucky I don't have daddy issues, instead I have a strong resentment for volatile, aggressive men, which see themselves as "manly"...

I pray your daughter is not the sensitive type. I hope you save up enough cash and evidence and leave him. I home you have at least one person who you can confide in, who will help you. You parents perhaps, a close female friend. Support systems are crucial for you to stay strong.