Hi. Im a 15 year old fuck up. Ima guy, short and skinny, pretty unattractive, introverted and quite stupid. Ladies that see this, I am everything you don't want in a man... (except a racist and homophobic sense of humor and a big dick) I almost fail every academic class unless I take it again. I play way too many video games but I don't want to say addicted. I can't concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes until I open YouTube in another tab and tell myself that I'll study later. I end up just making a fool of myself. My parents, or at least my mom, used to think that I was smart but never tried in school, until I overheard her rant about me at 7 on the morning complaining why God gave her such a fucking idiot as a child and not a regular, smart, techsupport Indian child. Shit's stupid dawg. Btw, Im writing this after my mid-term report card came in saying I did not hand-in 8 out of 12 assignments, got a 10/20 on one test, 2/8 on the other and 8/26 I think, on the last. So as you can see I'm textbook retarded and as the last 4 years I got my PS taken away. In grade 8 I did one of the dumbest things one could do. Sell dope. Fucking hell, just mentioning it makes me cringe. I had hopped that if I sold, it would get me a lot of friends and I didn't care whether they would be close friends, I only cared about numbers. I also thought if I had a lot of money to burn on food I would be viewed as "cool". So I hope that you can imagine a conclusion of how I got caught, because I guarantee that your wrong. My mom found it and told the fucking school. Grade 9 wasn't so bad, I would come home everyday, depressed hoping that more people would like me. I dropped the friends I made from selling because my dad told me... Because my fucking dad told me. Priceless. I would come home and play fucking COD mobile because my PS was gone until summer break until I went to India, which was actually not bad. I also got really REALLY drunk at my friends apartment, again hoping that my actions would land me some 5 minute clout. My friend ended up saving my life because I fell near unconscious in the middle of the main road while he was walking me back. I had never had gotten drunk before and I had 7 or 8 shots of 60% vodka and a large class full of 45% rum. It's surprising how you can't taste it when your drunk. So I imagine you would understand how hungover I was. Skip to the now. Im depressed. My anger issues and pent up hatred has only turned into pain and I was thinking about death. No necessary committing the sudoku but death itself. I guess you can say, trying to fathom it. I want to fathom death and the nothingness that comes with it assuming. Assuming that there is no hell I will be going to. That's to good to be true... I want to convince myself that when I die, I wont have thins consciousness with me. I wont have anything because I don't exist I am nothing. Im not even matter. Don't say dark matter that's stupid. If I can convince myself of this deep topic, then maybe I can write some smartass suicide note and jump. Please if your going to reply with the whole don't kill yourself you family will be sad schtick. My family will be sad my ass, my dad for one I could agree with for once. This has gone on to long, time to play SWTOR when my parents think im doing homework. If you read this wow do you have time on your hands. Cya on the other side, thanks for letting me speak my mind this is a great website.

Hi. Im a 15 year old fuck up. Ima guy, short and skinny, pretty unattractive, introverted and quite stupid. Ladies that see this, I am everything you don't want in a man... (except a racist and homophobic sense of humor and a big dick) I almost fail every academic class unless I take it again. I play way too many video games but I don't want to say addicted. I can't concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes until I open YouTube in another tab and tell myself that I'll study later. I end up just making a fool of myself. My parents, or at least my mom, used to think that I was smart but never tried in school, until I overheard her rant about me at 7 on the morning complaining why God gave her such a fucking idiot as a child and not a regular, smart, techsupport Indian child. Shit's stupid dawg. Btw, Im writing this after my mid-term report card came in saying I did not hand-in 8 out of 12 assignments, got a 10/20 on one test, 2/8 on the other and 8/26 I think, on the last. So as you can see I'm textbook retarded and as the last 4 years I got my PS taken away. In grade 8 I did one of the dumbest things one could do. Sell dope. Fucking hell, just mentioning it makes me cringe. I had hopped that if I sold, it would get me a lot of friends and I didn't care whether they would be close friends, I only cared about numbers. I also thought if I had a lot of money to burn on food I would be viewed as "cool". So I hope that you can imagine a conclusion of how I got caught, because I guarantee that your wrong. My mom found it and told the fucking school. Grade 9 wasn't so bad, I would come home everyday, depressed hoping that more people would like me. I dropped the friends I made from selling because my dad told me... Because my fucking dad told me. Priceless. I would come home and play fucking COD mobile because my PS was gone until summer break until I went to India, which was actually not bad. I also got really REALLY drunk at my friends apartment, again hoping that my actions would land me some 5 minute clout. My friend ended up saving my life because I fell near unconscious in the middle of the main road while he was walking me back. I had never had gotten drunk before and I had 7 or 8 shots of 60% vodka and a large class full of 45% rum. It's surprising how you can't taste it when your drunk. So I imagine you would understand how hungover I was. Skip to the now. Im depressed. My anger issues and pent up hatred has only turned into pain and I was thinking about death. No necessary committing the sudoku but death itself. I guess you can say, trying to fathom it. I want to fathom death and the nothingness that comes with it assuming. Assuming that there is no hell I will be going to. That's to good to be true... I want to convince myself that when I die, I wont have thins consciousness with me. I wont have anything because I don't exist I am nothing. Im not even matter. Don't say dark matter that's stupid. If I can convince myself of this deep topic, then maybe I can write some smartass suicide note and jump. Please if your going to reply with the whole don't kill yourself you family will be sad schtick. My family will be sad my ass, my dad for one I could agree with for once. This has gone on to long, time to play SWTOR when my parents think im doing homework. If you read this wow do you have time on your hands. Cya on the other side, thanks for letting me speak my mind this is a great website.

I like to think that we’re all victims of our circumstances. Depression and whatever is a disease, not some shitty self-imposed mental state. Nothing you hate about yourself is your fault and the person you are today isn’t who you’ll always be. Yes, it hurts and I know how corny this sounds but bear with me, I like to believe there’s beauty and wisdom in pain. Sometimes I like to think of life as a game, some rounds are more difficult that others and some seem damn near impossible and there’s always unexpected setbacks but with careful strategy you can find a way to the next level. This level is temporary, pain is temporary, and it’s not worth losing yourself over. Don’t forget that you were once that little kid with goals and dreams and innocence who could’ve never done any wrong and who probably believed in a happy ending. Please don’t hurt that little boy. This isn’t his fault or your fault, sometimes life just sucks and everything hurts and it feels like you’re drowning and you want to give up but it’s not your fault. Don’t think about giving in or dying or destroying yourself, think about how great it would feel to run away and become a new person and start over. I would like to clarify that this is not coming from some simpleminded optimist. I am a 15 year old atheist who is on the verge of giving up and who looks at her wrists everyday and wonders if it would be worth the scars. And I don’t know if I can handle the idea that someone else is suffering and feels the hopelessness I feel, or maybe even something worse. I don’t know you but I care about you and your pain. I don’t know if there’s a better life or an end of the tunnel but if there is I want to see it and I want to feel happiness again.

I like to think that we’re all victims of our circumstances. Depression and whatever is a disease, not some shitty self-imposed mental state. Nothing you hate about yourself is your fault and the person you are today isn’t who you’ll always be. Yes, it hurts and I know how corny this sounds but bear with me, I like to believe there’s beauty and wisdom in pain. Sometimes I like to think of life as a game, some rounds are more difficult that others and some seem damn near impossible and there’s always unexpected setbacks but with careful strategy you can find a way to the next level. This level is temporary, pain is temporary, and it’s not worth losing yourself over. Don’t forget that you were once that little kid with goals and dreams and innocence who could’ve never done any wrong and who probably believed in a happy ending. Please don’t hurt that little boy. This isn’t his fault or your fault, sometimes life just sucks and everything hurts and it feels like you’re drowning and you want to give up but it’s not your fault. Don’t think about giving in or dying or destroying yourself, think about how great it would feel to run away and become a new person and start over. I would like to clarify that this is not coming from some simpleminded optimist. I am a 15 year old atheist who is on the verge of giving up and who looks at her wrists everyday and wonders if it would be worth the scars. And I don’t know if I can handle the idea that someone else is suffering and feels the hopelessness I feel, or maybe even something worse. I don’t know you but I care about you and your pain. I don’t know if there’s a better life or an end of the tunnel but if there is I want to see it and I want to feel happiness again. 

Re: Tf do I do...

You wish there was no hell. Ignorance isn’t always bliss. Get a hold of yourself. Clearto see that you don’t respect yourself. Start there: love yourself. And it does seem like your parents have expectations of you. Why don’t you be open with one of them? You need help and you have folks who will give that to you. Sometimes you need to ask!

You wish there was no hell. Ignorance isn’t always bliss. Get a hold of yourself. Clearto see that you don’t respect yourself. Start there: love yourself. And it does seem like your parents have expectations of you. Why don’t you be open with one of them? You need help and you have folks who will give that to you. Sometimes you need to ask! 

Not to sound like a jerk , but you can't expect things to go from bad to good suddenly . It's a gradual process and well , you're the only factor that can influence the way you live your life . You remind me of a guy i used to know a while back , i couldn't help him cause he was too caught up in the messed up stuff he did , honestly i wish i could . But the most i can tell you is that problems are a part of life . This is ironic cause i'm not much of an optimist myself but when it comes to people , i am ? Life is a cycle of problems arising and you finding your way out of it . You might wanna reconsider the way you see life . You've still got a ton of time to become a better person ( better, in the sense that you get to be the judge of who and what you wanna be. ) Why let people judge you by how you look and stuff ? If you end up reading this just don't fudge up your only chance at being a person YOU want to be .

Not to sound like a jerk , but you can't expect things to go from bad to good suddenly . It's a gradual process and well , you're the only factor that can influence the way you live your life . You remind me of a guy i used to know a while back , i couldn't help him cause he was too caught up in the messed up stuff he did , honestly i wish i could . But the most i can tell you is that problems are a part of life . This is ironic cause i'm not much of an optimist myself but when it comes to people , i am ? Life is a cycle of problems arising and you finding your way out of it . You might wanna reconsider the way you see life . You've still got a ton of time to become a better person ( better, in the sense that you get to be the judge of who and what you wanna be. ) Why let people judge you by how you look and stuff ? If you end up reading this just don't fudge up your only chance at being a person YOU want to be . 