Hello . I am a 19 years old girl.. I have a huge family and this is my story.I am currently not working due to the covid 19 situation i was retrenched and it was very hard for me to take in because it was only my source of income and i was the breadwinner for my family of 8 . Yes i am the breadwinner, i am not the youngest nor the oldest child in the family but sadly i bare alot of financial problems. I started working at a young age of 14 years old, i had to stop schooling at secondary 2 (14yrsold) to help my family for the bills and put food on the table. My dad in his late 40s perfectly healthy has been working on and off so we cant really rely on his salary to keep us through because we never know when he is going to quit working. My mom in her early 40s perfectly healthy as well is a housewife as my dad don't let her work or even have friends and go out of the house . Ever since i was 14 till now i have been supporting my family , i work non stop 10-12 hours everyday . I had to giveup my youth and friends for money. As a result , i have no friends at all and its very hard for me because whenever i am sad or feel so lonely i have no one to talk to or share my problems with . My family arent close so i dont share anything about my life to them.. I have not been working since april because of covid 19 and its very hard for me to find job with no qualifications . Every company i applied for rejected me eventhough i have the experience for it. This is by far the most longest time i have not work or have any income coming in. It stresses me out because we are struggling to even put food on the table. Now that i am 19 i am more matured thinking and keep thinking about how lazy my parents are. All this while they have solely depends on their kids to give them money and supporting the family. I am very annoyed because both my parents are healthy they have no sickness but they didnt went out to work and support their kids . I have to stop schooling to give us a better life but all they do is always lying down, sleeping at home and complaining they are tired. i have been working for the past 5 years straight , i should be the tired one right? Last year 2019 i landed a really good retail job it was 8hours 6days a week i earn a huge sum of it . i landed a good job right after i quited my old job 10hours per day and earning so less and management wasnt really good . My dad upon knowing about it he quits his job and have not been working till now..I earned quite alot from it and everything was good .. I was already thinking about how my parents are not doing anything at home and expecting their kid to give money every month so i decided to stop giving them any sort of money for a month or two .. Thats when problem kicks in, my dad was angry most of the time.. He would ask me for money over and over again.. He would even threaten to beat me up if i dont give money.. They start calling me rude and ungrateful.. Scold me on every stupid small things and treat me differently because i didnt give them any money and we quarrel almost everyday. The next month i start giving them money and things changed completely they don't scold me or anything.. So now because of the covid i lost my job and i have no momey to give them .. We often quarrel and they keep asking me for money eventhough i have no money and not working.. They expect me to have savings for rainy days like this but truth is everytime i have savings i used it to give them .. I now have $2 in my bank account and they keep thinking i have money because ive been going out to my boyfriend house. I am so grateful because my boyfriend is helping me emotionally mentally and financially though it not much but i appreciate it .. My boyfriend parents are both 60s and they are very healthy and active both are working their ass off to provide him and his brother who is all working . They dont think about retiring because my bf parents want their family to be well off financially which i truly admired because they are 60s and my parents are 40s but lazier.. I am also a muslim and my bf is a Catholic , my parents know about this and they dont like anyone who is not a muslim.. They are racist and judgemental , they dont know that my bf and his family has been giving me moral support and treating me like one of their family , i feel so loved and blessed everytime im near them..In conclusion i don't know how to describe my parents laziness . I just want them to try and find a job to atleast support my younger brother who is still currently working. I am very disappointed as a child i feel like i am the adult in the family. I felt like giving up and even having suicide thoughts because i was so tired from everything luckily my boyfriend is there with me ..