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That feeling!

I feel sad!!

Thats it, just plain sad.

Like only sadness and not feeling well is the only thing there is.

On some days I am extremely happy and positive.

On days like today i blank out most of the time. Don't wanna feel anything other than sadness.

This deep shallow feeling is haunting me.

I wanna talk a lot but it feels selfish and sort of disturbing!!

Like It will ruin my image in front of everyone.

I saw this movie notebook. It was a Bollywood film. Really nice and precious to be honest.

Then my boyfriend was just asking if i could meet today.

I don't feel like going outside from past few months. So i refused him.

He was requesting me so sweetly and then something hit me.

Like a stone on my chest.

My heart was heavy.

I could speak but i didn't want to.

I just texted my boyfriend that wait, then i sent an audio in which i was speaking clearly.

While i was speaking it felt so heavy but when i heard it, it was completely normal.

I wanted him to realise that something was wrong with me. So i deleted that audio and spoke again in a broken voice.

I thought maybe he'll realise it this time. He didn't.

I gave up and laid down.

I felt like nothing in those moments and i slept for 20 mins approx.

It felt like ages honestly.

Since then i feel a pain in my chest.

Something doesn't seem right.

Tomorrow is monday i have to work and perform better than last week.

Right now it seems a little hard to me.

I hope I'll feel normal while talking soon atleast before tomorrow.