I’m about to marry my kids father, who is a great father and provider, but as the story goes, a cheater and a huge ass liar. I’ve realized every time I took him back the many times, I lost my smile, my carefree attitude, my self esteem, my positive thinking and so much more. I don’t trust myself and scared of making the wrong decision, that I try not make any at all. Honestly, I don’t trust no one. Love shouldn’t feel this way. I know this and I stayed cause of my kids. I know he will cheat on me again, and again, and again. Since I have no self worth anymore, I just let it happen and pretend I’m okay. But honestly, I’m traumatized. My mom says to stay, I have a great set up. But it’s so hard. The life of being and feeling stupid.