So by now you must have realized that the life you have is mostly (90%) due to the choices you make. That being said, where I am at this point is great looking from the outside in, but from where I stand it is a never ending battle, I spent many years destroying my life and many more since rebuilding it. But I fear I can never truly have the life I seek due to people that I love and people who love me, (not people I can get away from even if I wanted to) I constantly try and I work and strive to make life better for these people, they know and understand what I do for them, but nothing I can do can fix the pain these people are in. Nothing I can do can make me happy as long as these people are hurting. I should be happy and have all I could ever dream of, but instead I feel like I'm wasting my life trying to fix these people I love. I can't leave them because it's as important to them as it is to me to be here. It would be like leaving your child. I'm miserable and I needed to vent. Thank you whoever reads this.