A little escapeliving life pulling yourself or more like pushing yourself every day to live it thru a day at a time. We are all practical you know but all of us sometimes look for a little escape filled with moments that can sweep you off your feet, take you away from your complex reality, the life that you know every day you gonna live again sort of in a similar way - hehehe more like deja vu!Ah so, well let’s begin with all the juicy details - shall we?so, there I was totally sinked into my hard to explain life, working online, habitual of listening to random top song list… and there I was doing the same that day working and listening songs but all of sudden I just saw this add about an app omegle - talk to strangers! And yeah you guessed it right this curiosity or light bulb moment happened….. guess what all this busy all serious personality now being her childish self just logged into it and start looking for strangers to talk to… no idea what about? or what for? but I don’t know she is so excited to be out there all excited to see what is waiting for her there…. so, the first time - well she found some perverts ahhahaha flashing all the wrong parts ;) you know what I mean right at her face!!! at first it felt a creepy but then she started laughing about it… well how can you not - I mean think about it - you go and start living in virtual world - adding all good looking pictures of you, editing them to makes you look the best every time ;) aren’t we self-obsessed much… but hey here it seems like people need attention and validation for their junk too…eeeuuuuu!!! anyhow thought I met with some good people out there… but the figure is like 1%…. then logged out… thinking well that’s not very good but also not that bad! so, thought let’s give it another try… and hey I am there again… this time met with some really cool guys - now, I am getting a little taste of it! ;) thought of using the best interest words that can keep me outa range of those silly junky perverts hehehhe so, thought of a really cool word - life!I thought this gonna be the most safe word - and while adding it there I thought I gonna be among the rarest people who will be adding it as their interest. but hey to my surprise there were actually many people who added it as their interest keyword. This is the 3rd time I am there - I thought if something cool happen outa nowhere I might spend time here today or else like so myself - I was feeling bored of it already! I have this little thing you know consuming one thing/experience/taste or whatever it is really that attracts me or trigger my curiosity - I tend to consume it till the time I can’t get bored out of it… this time I thought I gonna cover my cam and use it as a blank screen coz I don’t wanna show my face to all those creepy junks… anyways then it just happened there was this guy looking all decent person whom you feel comfortable to talk to… and I just said hieee…. i thought he is from other part of the world… but to my surprise he is like hey you’re from ‘my country - i am surely not disclosing the name here’ ;) just bear with me here a little…. well and then I just denied sorta telling him I am not gonna tell you from where I am… and then we started talking… he’s super sweet and heart-warming… I just lost myself into him and his talks, the way he smiles makes me skip few of my heartbeats… he is way younger than me so, I was like not disclosing anything personal about myself (true that - being shellfish there) wanna be more discrete and just wanna live those precious moment that happened to fall into my lap by coincident… aww believe me even while writing about those moments here a sweet smile is spreading across my lips… he was so adorable shared almost all his life with me that night - we talked for hours and still felt like few minutes… the time felt like stopped ticking… it’s like I entered into another universe where this cute kind-hearted loving guy trying to cheer me up and smiling hearing my voice… his heart is filled with all the excitement, love, romantic gestures - simply just by hearing me say few little words and most often giggling on his funny life incidents related stories and moments… And I just forgotten everything about who I am? all practical world and my real world identity just lost it’s all footing… I was there with him being my inner-self!!! Never felt like it ever… and same was with me… It’s like I know him not just for few minutes, hours - it was way more than that… I felt like I know him way better than I know myself! I can’t explain myself in way I can tell you about him! For the first time in my whole life I felt that magical feeling - of knowing someone from your previous life! Well you can’t put your figure on it! It’s super strange, exciting, loving and out-of-this world experience for me…. We just kept talking for hours… and he’s simply hearing me… I just loved his small little smiles and all the cute gestures… ah believe me if it’s in my hands I just gonna stop the time and would love to live my whole life there with him cherishing all those simple loving moments. Then reality hits and I know that I can’t allow myself to keep him there and I have to lose him to his world and I have to get back to mine. So, yeah you guessed it right! I just disconnected the call… hey and it felt like - hey what have I done! I know I can’t be in his life in a way I was letting him believe all thru our little conversational adventure…. I can’t be anything for him - he is way younger to me… I have my own reality and complicated relationships to manage back in my practical world. Ah huge guilt makes it hard to breathe…. and I decided hey he deserve to hear the truth - I can’t be this shellfish and I just go out there and have any right to play with innocent guy’s kind heart! How can I do that?And then I decided - I went there again… started looking for him…. it’s almost early morning and I’s dozing off in-between the skipping the people out there…. lol I don’t know how many times I just did that trying to find him… and then there Omegle just banned me… haha to use skipping people for that many times… I’s like - I am doomed! well then I slept for sometime… next day made myself busy in house chores and passed thru the day… then it’s late evening I was sitting and trying to concentrate on my work - and my heartbeat started fading again… all the thoughts started triggering again… hey you gotta sort it out - he need to know! Searched online how can fix the banning…. some suggested go for VPN and I did bought monthly subscription for one… installed it and tried accessing using different countries setup… but still it didn’t worked - prompting server side error… i was like hey not fair at all… I have this urge to see him and talk to him again…. and tell the truth to him….Then all of sudden I got this idea hey if my broadband based wifi IP is banned how about I may give mobile network a try…. And guess what it did worked ;) and then I thought hey this time I just can’t go for skipping people - I need to talk to some for a while so, to avoid banning action again ;) hehehe… so, yeah well I had some small conversation with a girl from Philippines, a guy from Spain, and then I skipped for 2-3 time more but I still didn’t found him and I started to think - I am not gonna find him I guess…. it’s all over… and with a broken heart just hit the escape one more time - and there he was…. I just stopped inhaling next breath… and with all the excitement, tender love and big smile (again I was there with my black screen) and said hieeee…..he started such a cute expressions and gestures without talking at all - communicating hey that’s you! I know you it’s you again… the same girl I had talked for 5 hrs yesterday late night till early morn….. it was so overwhelming… and I’s like yes, correct it’s me… he is not using any word at all - but I felt like I am hearing right away what he is saying without making a single sound… and I am replying…. now, when I think of it… it feels like how can be that surely know what he is communicating…. and in those sweet moments seeing his cute face and all the happiness spread over his sweet little smiles - again I simply forgotten everything… my logical brain just melt into those moments… I lost my identity all over again… again I started living there with him in those sweetest feelings… and there we go again… yesterday it was him talking and I was mostly listening with all the love and today the roles are been reversed…. me being the narrator of my life’s silly, some creepy and all kinda stories…. just kept on sharing - now if I think of them those all doesn’t make any sense… I was telling him the most embarrassing to all serious stuff - I was not holding back at all… and then somehow he made show myself to him… and he can see me : ) all of sudden our emotions just skyrocket from tender little moments and feelings to loving romantic beings… we just lost in each other, just in few little minutes we just seen our whole future life flashing in front of our eyes where we have imagined to be together there for each other…. How ironic it is… thru all this lovely conversation a little sharp pain was there in my heart - reminding me hey - remember who you are and where you’re in your life in your real life - it will never gonna happen…. but I just don’t wanna end it… and then we are about to fall asleep but unable to cut the call… he told me that keep the cam on he wanna see me sleeping… and I was unable to say NO… and then there we both fall asleep looking to each other thru screens… feeling all warm and overwhelmed lost in moments... then around 5:30 am my alam clock buzzed and we both woke up - and apologised him hey sorry my stupid alarm… and I told him go ahead let’s sleep and I am cutting the call so, nothing that kinda stupid buzz will wake us up again… and we fall asleep again… thinking about each other…. Next day I woke up when it was almost afternoon - and there it was again… that sharp pain… all the guilt! Making me feel hey you are such a bad person - you just used him again, played with his innocent emotions all over again… and finally decided not anymore he don’t deserve it…. you have to tell him no matter what even if I know there is 99.9% probability he simply gonna hate me and never gonna talk to me again… having all that pain in my heart I called him (hey yeah he have shared his mobile number yesterday night)…. and said to him - hey there - before you may say anything (coz I know he must be super excited to get a call from me and I am about to crush it all) let me tell you what I should have told you way before… but I was really being shellfish and was unable to control my heart & feelings… For me all those practicalities of life doesn’t hold a dime value in front of what I have just felt and experienced with this sweet loving guy during past two days and nothing of it can stop me loving him or talking to him or meeting him one day for sure! But I know it’s way hard for him to take it in… he is not that mature and dealt with all the adversities and encountered with all those dark alleys of life that I have… and then after telling him everything… I said I am sorry… my heart was really weeping inside… I am about to burst into tears… my voice chocking… he said it’s okay those two days special for him too… and then I said I really am sorry - before he can hear me cry - I said bye and to my adverse fears I simply disconnected the call….it felt like all the energy, happiness is been sucked out of my body and existence… I just lie down on my bed again, closed my eyes thinking just fall asleep - may be after you will awake it will be easier for you to bear… Then after some time as I woke up - I was still in that dark mode… covered with all those gloomy heartbroken feelings… indulged myself in household chores… but still he seems to took control of all my thoughts…. I am unable to do anything at all… is it universe - playing tricks with little humans… how can this happen or in fact it can’t be possible to be this close to someone in just 2 days… here we go again - I just cried again… and then this urge came to me to write down this little story of my escape!!! The best moments of life that I lived for 2 days and will be sticking tight to my heart until I am gonna die…. I know there is like 0.1% chance only that he may gonna decide to reach me back… but I am gonna stick to it! I am gonna miss him every day and for sure he will hold a very special space in my thoughts and my soul gonna keep on urging for him, his presence, and love in my life! Hey despite of all the pain it occurred I will keep enjoying all those little smiles that gonna spread thru my lips whenever I am gonna think about him….So, well today is day 3 now, it almost evening - and after that call that we had during the day - I haven’t heard anything at all from his side… pretty much expected! I have told him on day 2 that - I don’t know about anything else but for sure I wanna meet him for once… and would love to live those special loving moments where only him and me will have existence all the world will gonna fade away! Now, when I think of it - I am still hopeful to be able to live those lovely memories even when it looks like that he have decided to hate me, forget me in a way I never have met him… I am just a lie in his world! But to me he is the only truth I have lived throughout my life… those little minutes seems to be the only real moments that I ever had in my stupid complex life! I don’t know how I am gonna or when I think of it - will I ever make it easier? will this pain ever gonna subside for the rest of my life? will I ever gonna meet him in this lifetime? I don’t know… I really wish and pray that this universe may bring all the happiness and love in his life! I am sure about it that he gonna find that special someone soon and carry on with his life!!! and I am happy for him… but to me he will be damm special forever! I can’t be with him, he can’t allow me even a smallest part of his life - but this little escape that I have encountered - where I just lost all the logical self and just let loose and lived every moment! IT is all WORTH it! I am just sorry for one thing that I know I hurt him should have told him the truth at once…. But is there really any truth or feeling justified it’s logic when I just experienced something really special that no practical argument is able to explain or justify! Well those were the little glimpse of my LITTLE ESCAPE that I lived recently… I hope you all keep on living in the moments! Life is about present sometimes let yourself loose and fall into the depth of your emotions… it’s special… Cheers to all our crazy & sweet ‘Little Escapes’ that give us perspective, love, pain, excitement, and all the sparkle to keep on living our life! To be grateful to those moments that just changed something deep inside us… that us feel that there is more to life than just routing pushing you from today to just another day!