The N in my name stands for nowhere

Time Spent- 35m
26 Visitors
I dont wanna be anymore. I dont want to kill myself but the thought of me just not existing anymore brings so much peace to mind. I'm not sad but I'm not happy either. I used to love watching movies because it threw me into another world as a kid but all they are to me now is a way to try and feel anything. There is no value to me. The thought of hurting my friends or family is what keeps me here but I want to live not for them but for me but I can't. I keep asking the universe to send someone to save me or help in anyway even though I know no one will come. As I'm writing this I'm laying in a dark room trying to cry out how I feel while my family is happy in another room. I want to be happy with them. I want them to see how much pain I'm in. I want to feel again.