The only thing carrying my life is a literal videogame, that’s right, you heard it. it’s my only way to escape, honestly. everyday i bottle up so much hatred, i keep telling myself to let it all out, but the only word that comes out are “okay.”
I was never good at school, but you can see that there is a downfall compared to all of other years, i’ve just lost motivation to do anything, and it’s hard to get motivated for things that you simply don’t enjoy doing. i have many reasons that i do the things i do, and albeit, maybe it’s unhealthy, but it’s tiring to see my mom boil down all my problems to “that damn iphone.” and then proceed to gaslight me, she personally attacks me for making friends online, thinking i’m always in danger, even though 90% of my online identity is literally fake?!?! i lie about my age, my name, i don’t put my voice out there, i don’t put my face out there, and then there’s my brother who posts images of himself and is always online talking to random people. sorry if i rambled for a bit, but back to the main topic, a videogame is my only drive in life to keep going, it’s kinda crazy how if i didn’t totally get consumed by this game, i’d probably had killed myself by now..