Real talk: here's what I'm upset about! The fact that it's so damn hard to find a man is the right balance of sexual. Al the guys I meet seem to be way too over sexual and horny, or completely imasculated passive and scared. WHyyy?? God why?
Do you want to know what women (at least me ) really want? I want a guy who knows himself and can be balanced in the middle. I don't think we should shame men so much for being sexual. It's natural for both men and women to enjoy and care about sex. But if its too much it get to the point of being uncomfortable. you feel like you are just being used, like you are just a mobile pocket pussy.
But that doesn't mean we don't want to have good sex, and for a lot of women the natural biological pull is to be passive and have a man take a dominant lead. That does not mean using us! That means using your body, using your muscles, being active, thrusting. But if you don'T do ANY exercise and and don'T even go out for a walk once a week, you will loose your breath after 1 minute and feel super bad about yourself. Your health and stamina is important for an enjoyable phisical relationship with a partner. (Don'T worry, i know this is the same for women too, but if the man is fit it almost doesnt matter if the woman is. thats not true vice versa!) It'S hard to feel sexy as a woman if the man doesn't at least pursue a little bit and get excited about your body and your parts. A shy man , self conscious, unenthusiastic man can never make a woman horny, and thats what you need. Its not about how you look but about how you let go of yourself and become more instinctual.
Maybe some men nowaday are afraid of being label predator and that valid. thats sweet. but dont let that get in the way of a MUTUAL CONSENTUAL exchange. if you are doubting yourself and what is appropriate, ask questions, ask if they like it, ask its okay for them, ask if they consent. If a woman thinks that weird, then SHE is weird and its not your fault. Find someone better, a woman with less toxic masculinity who is gonna make you feel like shit for being yourself.
I know it might sound like "oh the perfect balance! not too much but not too little!" what a difficult standard to live up too, but honestly women are expected to fit into this standard all the time too. not too emotional but not too masculine. not too prude but not too slutty. and this and that. And god knows even if we fight the stereotypes we try! We try to live up to them!
So what I ask is this, try to find your balance between pervert and pussy. lol im sorry for using those colloquial terms. but its right there in the middle-- healthy appetite for glorious wonderful sex but also the ability to gauge what your partner is okay with and feel safe and comfortable with, at the very least by asking them.