Have you ever been so close to someone? Like, a best friend? A sister? So close that the two of you move the same way, think the same way, act the same way, etc. You two are closer than anyone else in your family, in your group of friends, in the entire world. But you are both also very different. Small differences. Or rather, differences that seem small but are actually pretty huge. This is exactly how me and my sister are. We're each other's best friend. We crave time spent together, we love when it's just the 2 of us, we don't piss each other off the way everyone else pisses us off.
But sometimes I think I'm holding her back.
If you've never heard of the Silent Twins, here's a quick recap: So basically there are 2 twin girls, June and Jennifer, both have a speech impediment that limits communication between them and the rest of the world. Due to the speech impediment, the two girls became almost mute when they were in front of others, including their own family. This isolation caused the twins to become heavily dependent upon each other, in an extremely unhealthy way. The twins could not eat, sleep, or even move without the other. As much as they loved each other, they often wrote in their diaries of how trapped they felt in this sister bond. They would write about what a tragedy it is to be imprisoned in a relationship like theirs. They would also write in their diaries, and even discuss with each other, how one of them must die so the other can live freely. Shortly after they begin discussing this idea, Jennifer grows weak and says something along the lines of "I'm going to have to die. I'm going to have to die because we've already decided. I'm going to have die so she can live." And when she said that, June had a very determined look. Jennifer died and June has since been living her own life as a part of society.
I've had these thoughts for a couple years. And I've been seriously contemplating the idea of setting my soul free so she can find hers. I can't imagine the pain she'd feel if she lost her best friend though. Would she feel pain? Or would she feel liberated? Am I holding her back? Or am I pushing her forward? I really don't know. I just want to do what's best for her.
"We once were two
We two made one
We no more two
Through life be one
Rest in peace."