I have come to discover that I have something in common with a number of people who post on this site. I want to end my life. Over the past three years, I have gotten progressively worse jobs with diminishing pay. I am married to a woman who hasn't had sex with me in nearly six years. My wife is an absolute bitch to me and my children constantly, and I'm much too weak to stand up to her when she is verbally abusing my 10 year old daughter and her 6 year old brother.
I've come to realize that I'm a pathetic excuse for a father and a husband, and I can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror anymore. Since COVID-19 started, I've been largely trapped in my house and I have so much more time to stew on how I am feeling and to really take in all the ways that I am a failure. The one small comfort I take is that I have a $500,000 life insurance policy that will pay out even if I commit suicide, so as I give greater consideration to ending my life, I know that my kids will be okay even without me. At least the bills will be paid. I will leave a note with my body telling my wife that I want the cheapest burial possible, with no calling hours or funeral. After all, what sense is there in having a funeral in these times anyway? If people need comforting, it's not like they can hug each other. That's not allowed anymore. But it doesn't matter anyway. The only ones who will mourn the loss of me would be my children, but they are young, and they would recover in time. My son would probably forget me altogether in time, and that would probably be for the best, after all.