5 months ago
Time Spent- 11m
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The Truth...

Hi! :) You can call me A.

I have been a topnotcher since Preschool, up to Highschool. But..sometimes I feel so exhausted and drained. The thing is... I have that attitude of not voicing out what I really feel, to speak out my emotions, because I feel like if I do, I may hurt the people around me. The least thing I want to do in my life is to see the people I love get hurt because of me. I keep on thinking that people do not like me, that is why I become cold towards other people most of the times. But then, I realized... it wasn't their fault. It was..actually mine. Because I was the one who distanced myself away from other people. I don't listen to what they say to their advices. I was the one shutting myself out. But even if I have come to realize this...I simply can't change myself...and...and it's so fcking hard because no matter how hard I try, I'm always the bad person (which is true). They think that I'm numb and I don't feel hurt nor pain.. but the truth is.. i feel suffocated and... helpless.

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5 months ago

Re: The Truth...


You've been brutally honest and i appreciate that.

Yours is a truthful confession and be sure to act upon it.

But please don't be so hard on yourself. I assume you often overthink before you talk and fret about it.

What i say may sound very odd.. but don't think twice before talking.....its much better to scream out gibberish than bottling it up and building up the pressure on the inside....How will you love others if you don't love yourself..?......in the process of not hurting others you're hurting yourself....what if people take advantage of your goodness....?

And people love honesty. Keep it real. And and expressing your opinions is your job.... getting hurt or not.....its up to the listeners....not you.

Transitioning from " I don't wanna hurt someone with my words '' to " I want to talk about my feelings".......is difficult no doubt.

It takes 21 days for a person to get into a habit.

Hope this helped you, A !

Have a great day ( why does this rhyme)


I’m a paradox. I once scored 5 TDS in a game & was never tackled. Did 360 two handed slams. In one yr I dated 3 cheerleaders from my school; one from neighboring school; & hung out with 3 from neighboring city. I once dated a model you probably saw in magazines.

Top student in college. I’m still so attractive. Look like Thor. Designed buildings. Built stuff for space.

Everyone told me their problems. Asked for my help. But I’d try to tell people I was hurting. They’d laugh at me. How could I be sad. I was too pretty. I was too fast & strong. I was too smart. What did I have to be sad about.

With all my gifts & abilities my brain still made the same chemical imbalance as yours. I still have the overwhelming depression & sadness. But I see a therapist. Don’t have much money so I have short visits spread out. I take two meds. I could take higher dosages. Too high & I sleep all day. High enough & I’m pretty happy. I take low dosages because my health is so bad. I’m trying to live longer for my kids.

See a therapist. Get some meds. Feel better.