Hi! :) You can call me A. I have been a topnotcher since Preschool, up to Highschool. But..sometimes I feel so exhausted and drained. The thing is... I have that attitude of not voicing out what I really feel, to speak out my emotions, because I feel like if I do, I may hurt the people around me. The least thing I want to do in my life is to see the people I love get hurt because of me. I keep on thinking that people do not like me, that is why I become cold towards other people most of the times. But then, I realized... it wasn't their fault. It was..actually mine. Because I was the one who distanced myself away from other people. I don't listen to what they say to their advices. I was the one shutting myself out. But even if I have come to realize this...I simply can't change myself...and...and it's so fcking hard because no matter how hard I try, I'm always the bad person (which is true). They think that I'm numb and I don't feel hurt nor pain.. but the truth is.. i feel suffocated and... helpless.