My dad was detained by ice in late September and was officially deported back to Palestine on the 2nd of December after we thought maybe, just maybe he'd be home for Christmas but that hope was crushed when my mom walked in that morning to let us know they put him on the flight back to where he was born. The sounds that linger at night can no longer be the comforting noises of my dad cooking something strange but oddly enough delicious at 3 am or his Facebook videos echoing in the garage as he smokes. There's no one I can go to get mc Donalds at 2 am when he for some reason would actually take me. There's no more opening the garage door to sit with him in there and chat while he drinks his coffee and watches facebook videos. There's no more happiness in my door being slowly opened because it won't be my dad asking if we want to go get ice cream after he comes home from work. There's no more walking into his room to bug him to do something and then stealing the coins that he leaves thrown all across. alls that's there now is a clean, non-gyro-smelling room. There are no more opening black To-go boxes that lay on the counter after he comes home from work. There are no more middays where the obnoxious amount of cologne he sprays himself down with would stink up the whole house. There's no more spur of the moment decisions that drive my mom mad. There's no longer the sound of the car pulling up in the driveway around 9:30 pm and my brother's chair excitedly rolling backwards and the race of feet to meet him at the door. There's no longer the question of "can you write this for me?". There's no longer running into my dad's room to tell him I got a 50/50 on my term paper. There's no longer seeing the few teeth appear when he smiles and says he's proud of me. There are no longer the hi and hellos. there's only a screen with his face on it every few days at 10 pm when it's 8 am for him. there's only the I miss you calls that lead to crying that seem to never come to an end. It's only "Ill see you this summer", and when I ask "really?" he cannot give me a response that'll keep up my hopes. There's only the listening in on the lawyer's phone calls who seem to have already given up. There are only the sounds of my mom pouring another glass of vodka to drain her thoughts. There's only the sound of my brother's door closing and not reopening unless need be. There's only the "sorry" whenever he's mentioned. There's only the sound of white noise in my head that seems to come around when I can longer give the effort to think or try.