Time Spent- 31m
8 Visitors

They’re poly, I’m not

We got married, even had spoken about our monogamy. We agreed we didn’t ‘get’ the idea of ‘sharing’ (I know that’s not really it).

After 4 years together, 1.5 of that married. They insist they must go see other people, hang out, have dates and “hold hands and stuff” or they’ll “divorce me to get what [they] want”. I’m so hurt. I didn’t want this. They say that I’m the one they want to spend forever with. That I’m the one they want to have a home with. Glow old with. They say a lot of things, truly. Some of it feels super contradictory, but I do believe them when they say those things.

I know it’s a self-esteem thing for me, a feeling of security in the relationship thing. I get it, on paper. But I truly feel worthless. Like my feelings don’t matter. They say they’ll comfort me and make sure I feel secure, well, I don’t. They promised to consistently message me, it’s been almost 3 hours and not even left on read.

I need therapy, I know. I need something. I see myself with this person, forever. I won’t leave them. But everything hurts now.

Now I got a message, “Gotta talk to you”. I’m so sad. I don’t know what it is.

Everything hurts.