\tWhat does it mean to be something? Something with a purpose? A success? Am I something? Am I supposed to be aware of the fact that I am something?\tI am a being made up of many elements. I am a being made up of many emotions. I am many things. I am many people. Out of those many people, which one am I? \tIt is hard to be someone who knows who they are. There are many options. I would give an example, but I don’t exactly know enough to represent something so specific. Why must someone know who they are to be valid? You have no chance of being valid if you are not self present. \tHow can a person be present in their own lives? How can a person care enough? What i’m typing on this screen in front of me is very hard for me to understand, though I am the one who’s writing it. It sort of feels like I'm typing my whole life down. \tHow will this end? Will it be short? Will it be long? What exactly am I trying to say? Why am I trying to say it?\tI feel trapped. I feel like I'm trapped in this dark room. I should be scared, right? So, why is it that I am calm. In the corner of my mind, it is dark. It is dark and every once in a while, I can hear a series of faint screams. The screams sound distant, but yet so vivid. \tWho is screaming? Why are they screaming? \tIt is dark. Someone is screaming. I am calm. Maybe, this is how I'm feeling. It is dark in my mind. I am the one who is screaming. I am calm.\tI no longer have a sense of self. I don’t know who I am. I don’t who I am supposed to be. I am suffering, suffocating. I can’t see. All I can see is darkness. \tI am screaming.\tWhat do others see when they look at me? Someone who is smart? Successful? Happy? Living? \tThat is not me. That is a mere representation of who I could be. I could be perfect. I could be happy. All I need is someone to fix me. I just need to be fixed. \tIt’s easy isn’t it? I would go see a therapist. They would ask me a few stupid questions and I'll be fixed. I'll be happy and best of all, perfect. Yes, it’s easy. \tSo, why did I say no when I was asked if I wanted to see a therapist? To finally be fixed. Maybe, I don’t want to be fixed. Maybe, I want to stay broken. I want to stay numb and numb more over time. \tIf I am numb. I cannot be broken more than I already am. No one can break me. I have already reached my limit. I cannot be fixed. \tWhat does it mean to be nothing? Something that is not alive? An object? Living in a cage? Numb? Am I nothing? I already have my answer.