Time Spent- 7m 6s
13 Visitors

Thinking out loud

Do you ever find yourself wishing to die? Like you are just so tired of life, you have lost faith in humanity, you feel stuck in a dark place that you can’t climb out of. That this isn’t a world you want to live in anymore. I feel this often. I don’t wish to top myself, I haven’t got the courage to do it if I’m honest, but I often feel that if something happened like an accident I wouldn’t care. I’d be happy to go. Just thinking ‘out loud’. Life hasn’t turned out how I imagined especially around my career which is high stress and I hate with a passion but I don’t know what else to do with my life. Everyone around me seems to know exactly how their life will pan out. They have dreams and ambition. I don’t. I find myself wishing my days away. The only time I feel any sense of peace is alone at night in the silence. I can’t imagine growing older. I can’t imagine a future. I don’t like my life and I don’t know how to change it. Then I feel guilty for thinking these thoughts. Others have less than I do and have worse problems than I do and they carry on. I just can’t convince my mind to consider some perspective and think rationally. Every night when I eventually sleep I wouldn’t care if I didn’t wake up.