So here we go. I'm lustful. It started when I was 12. At first it was curiosity and then it was addiction. I stopped for a while and made new friends. But they weren't ideal. Because for the while I stopped I didn't desire it again but my friends made me feel like u didn't belong. So I got back into it. Then one day it was more about girls (I'm a girl). I saw girls. And then it Truely was an addiction no matter how much I tried I couldn't get away. So fast forward 14 .year 2020. I was in a bad state lustful, SAD, I had a huge crush on a girl, she didn't like me back and I was coming to terms with my sexuality. And I get saved and find God I'm not sad. I'm over my crush ("content with my singleness") kinda. I'm okay. But I still lust. I'm trying to walk with Him but my arrogance, curiosity and addiction leads me otherwise. It sorta feels like for that time being I am not in control. Like I don't have a say. And its difficult because we live in a society that doesn't normalize the fact that females struggle with lust just like males. I can't speak to anyone I know because I feel shameful. And yah its sin. But that doesn't mean only males struggle. I keep falling into this sin day after day. Not because I want to be disobedient but because I sometimes feel like I need to do it. I typed all of this because I needed to confess to someone, anyone who won't shame me but pray for me because strong is the prayer of a righteous person.
Re: This is not a story more like a christian confession. I need to get away from the guilt.
I have the same problem. I watch videos all the time. I know I shouldn’t but I do. There are periods in my life where I cling to God and I no longer desire to watch anything or have lustful thoughts. And sometimes I’ll find a really pretty girl and if I’m not careful I will start being attracted (I’m a girl). I understand what I am doing is wrong according to God and His will for my life but I do it anyway. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and that you and me are both going through something kinda similar. I would like to say it’s easy, but I’ve dealt with this since I was 11 and I’m currently 18. My lust has lessened, but I still struggle. I’ll pray for you, because even though you are struggling God is with you. He cares about you and will direct your paths. You already recognize that what you are doing is sinful, and that’s half the battle. I never thought I was sinning for a long time. Maybe you could ask someone you trust to pray for you. You don’t ever have to tell them why. Either way I believe that with Gods help he can pull you out of this. He helps pull me out every time I pray. It’s hard, but worth it. Wishing you the best, and I’ll be praying for you :)