TW: They saw me as a friendly, happy, lovely, joyful, a positive thinker, free from any problem person. Well, that is me. All of the personality that they saw from me is me. But not the real me. Because deep inside I am lonely. No one really cares about me even my best friend and family, also those people I considered my family. I am a suicidal person. At the age of 9 or 10 years old, I started to feel lonely. And it is because my family let me feel that way. And it turns me to the point of thinking "maybe if I will be disappear, they will be happy". I kinda try to lost myself in a certain place but unfortunately it was failed (I was grade 3 or 4). I also try killing my self like pointing the edge of the knife in my stomach (I was grade 5 that time) and cutting my wrist (I was grade 9 or 10). The reason? Well, it's just that the world was really against in me. All of them. It is sad? Do I look now a pathetic person? Uhhhmmm, maybe a pathetic one but, I actually used to it HAHAHAHAH. It's been what? More than 10 years of having this kind of feeling. HAHAHHHA. Anyway just sharing this, because, today, I'm feeling down again. The only person that I wanted to care for me, he's busy in other things that was more important than me HAHAHAHHA. Thank you for reading this sweety. Hope you don't have a miserable life like me. Because it doesn't feel really good.