when i was 5-6, i was the slowest kid in class. and by slow, i mean like study wise. i'm always picked last as well, making me sit with the naughty boys (i'm a girl) and gets bullied for being stupid. my teacher wasn't even supportive, she just loudly told the class i can never do well in school and i can never graduate. luck was on my side when i graduated from kindergarten to primary school. honestly, i thought things will get better but no..primary 1 and 2 was great, like really great. i can cope up with studies and i had one good friend until i moved to primary 3. i was supposed to be in the smart class but i suddenly downgraded to the dumbest class. i was too young to understand when the teacher picked me and some other students to join the dumb class. i really want to blame him cause the dumb class has the most rebellious kids. there goes my bullies again.. i didn't make a lot of friends and i eat alone most of the time until summer camp i made one good friend.. turns out she was just using me to write a letter to her stupid crush. she used my name saying that 'I' will meet the crush to get his answer and i was shocked.. her crush eventually found who am i and start hating me for no reason, brought his gang to gang up at me and bullied me throughout the year.. suddenly that same friend also began to neglect me, i just.. don't know why and alone i am again..when i was primary 4-5, i was too stupid to study. mostly unmotivated to learn anything anymore that i ended up being dumb all the way. i had to take extra classes but i was still dumb. one time there was a test, i was seated at the far end of this person like literally 9 tables back and away from each other. everyone did their test and once everyone was done, a group of students suddenly pointed out that i cheated on the test and whose paper? the Kid that was 9 tables away from me. i was confused, angry and hurt. i even confronted to the student like why he thought i cheated and he said 'someone told him.' i was so sad and just hurt that when i was on the way to my mum (she was picking me up) a student from the same class came to her and told her i cheat in the test. i was quiet because i was just so afraid. i was 10, the student was 14 because she's an exchange student and she's very tall. (she had beat up a kid before) I'm only glad that my mum doesn't believe her but i was still so sad... when i got into primary 5 (aged 11), i was again unmotivated and just been failing. the teachers though wasn't helpful at all. they were abusive. verbally and physically. a few teachers were like the same as my kindergarten teacher, using me as an example to the class for being the stupidest student. saying things like "if you don't study hard, you'll end up like her." one time i was wearing pig tails that my mum had tied up for me, i went to school all happy about it. a teacher from my mother tounge class brought up my failed report all the sudden, telling the students i was stupid and then she pulled one of my pig tails. it hurts so much.. physically and mentally like i said before.. i managed to hold myself back when being bullied, not telling everyone at all until i reached primary 6.i thought we were all a little mature but sadly, i had the same cruel teachers and worst, i made some friends that i thought i could trust. since we were kids, we were playing around like 'oo he likes you' and stuffs so i said the same thing but somehow they made my comment as something serious and i got bullied for it. there were 3 local students and 2 students from another country made a video about me and called me very mean words. like really mean, too mean for a kid like me since i was 12 (bitch, hoe, dumbass, slut. computers are mostly used during this time) as much as i said im sorry for making a comment, they continued. they even post about me online and said things that i'm not. i didn'tknow what to do anymore.. i ended up watching anime till 6am and went to school at 7am everyday. anime was my only way of comfort that time, i didn't have anyone to talk to cause well.. you know. it was bad and i was literally dead, only two teachers managed to notice that i looked off but one actually ask me what happened. i told her i was bullied online and then showed the receipts, yet before that, one of the local students told me that we're still friends and i shouldn't snitch. my dumbass believed that so i didn't snitch on them but my teacher was quick to notice the post of one of the bullies had their names on it and who was into the bullies and called them out. i was lucky. yet honestly, my teacher didn't do much.. all she said was to apologise to each other and that's it. things doesn't get better at all.. i ended up eating alone in the toilet because i learned that people are scary. it's not the ghouls, the monsters but just humans.secondary school was like a roller coaster ride, it wasn't so bad as my primary school but it's still shit. i had bullies still, even had an idiot stuck gum in my hair and i had to cut it. i wasn't easily fazed since i had worst when i was young. college has no bullies but there was dramas and i got involved for no reason. like really, i was just watching and they brought my name up. it was random and just plain stupid. the more i grew up i have grown to have social anxiety and depression. i can't talk to people in real life anymore and just online. my online friends are nice but i still can't trust them fully cause everyone can put a fake act just to be close so i'm still kinda alone.. the saddest part is.. i never told my full story to my family. i had told some stories to my sisters but never the full one. my parents thinks mental illness isn't a real illness hence why i just never told them anything. i just wish to have one best friend that can always be there for me in real life.. who understands my struggles on why i'm acting this way because of my past and accept me for who i am. i'm 25 now and been alone ever since. whilst everyone celebrate their birthdays with their friends, i don't have any friends..