i'm not doing well. I'm skipping breakfast every morning. If I can get myself to not feel bad enough about it, I'll eat lunch and dinner. I start drinking around 5 or 6, and I keep drinking until late at night. Anywhere from 6 to 10 shots worth of alcohol every night for the past week.I'm alone. I don't want to tell anyone, because I don't want help. I don't want to get better. I want to die here. I'm convinced that this is who I am. This depressed, barely functioning being. I went to the hospital in february. I checked myself into a psych unit after a number of episodes of self harm, and almost following through with my plans of suicide. And since I've come out, I feel like everyone has expected me to be better. That if I'm not better, I'm letting everyone down. I'm supposed to be cured. I'm not. I'm honestly just about the same. Sometimes I think the only reason I choose to stay alive is so that my dog has someone to take care of him. I don't know. this is stupid.