I am lonely and scared all the time. I just want to cry so hard but I don't want my headache to get worse and I can't sleeeep. This is the worst time of the day for me and I don't have anyone to talk to .. actually I have a lot of great friends but somehow I can't talk and say what's on my mind to them .. I can't express my feelings all the time,, It seems like I choose loneliness despite how much I hate it , how come?
This might sound ridiculous, but I relate to this so so much. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ll never be comfortable with close friends, no matter how much I love them or think they care about me. Like you, I choose loneliness. But please remember (even if I don’t), that you are not alone and that you are loved by so many people. Humans are beautiful creatures who deserve and need so much care and affection and nothing distinguishes you from that. You are extraordinary and I think you have extraordinary friends. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to them, that is A-okay. Just remember that they are there and that people love you.